The other thing is my niece. I have no kind of relationship with her now.
I can't force my sister to have a relationship with me. so I don't see my niece at all.
I think that is what is bothering me the most.
And I am sure my niece knows what is going on.
I am afraid to think what my sister may have told her about why I am not around.
Even if I could talk to my niece, I don't know how I would explain it to a 8 year old.
This is just such a flipping mess.