Visitors in These Foolish Things

It’s starting to get real around here.

It’s Monday morning - beginning of my first work week. But I won’t start until Wednesday, as that is the first day of the pay period. I’m not mad about it because I have visitors.

Starting Friday, it was Wen, my college girlfriend (and roommate for a time). She’d asked me about a month ago if I’d like some help settling in and I said SURE! And five minutes later she sent me her flight itinerary. I really do have the most amazing girlfriends.

It was good that I’d gotten almost everything done as far as unpacking at The Place - even though she said she wanted to help me with things - because I really wanted to have more of a staycation with her. The one thing I did leave for us to do was to put together an outdoor daybed I’d ordered on Wayfair. I’m glad she was here because it would have been impossible for me to put it together on my own.

But the rest of the time, it was good girl-bonding time. We took a few long walks in my local park, did some shopping, ate some BBQ at a place recommended by Wen’s boss (of all people…he lives in Minnesota! And it was a great recommendation, too!), shopping, more eating, and we even went together to my new local dive bar on Saturday night!

At first I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave the dog while we went to check out the bar since she’s been so traumatized, but by the time we left, she’d already put herself to bed so we thought we’d be ok. Alas, she was barking and upset when we got home. It took her a little while to calm down and all was right again, but oh, we are so codependent.

But I’m still SO GLAD Wen and I went because we found a perfect little hole in the wall less than a mile from my place and met some of the friendliest people! Met one of the owners, made friends with the bartender (I wasn’t drinking, but Wen had a couple of beers), and I even exchanged numbers with this guy who sounds like a lot of fun and has a huge circle of interesting friends. He already sent me an invitation to come out and watch the Super Bowl, but I couldn’t because…

After I dropped Wen off at the airport, I had just enough time to straighten up, do some laundry and make the beds in time for my mom and dad to show up with their dog, George!

I was so happy to see them, but it was a shame that there was immediate drama.

As I was showing them around The Place, I saw my mom take the dog out onto the balcony and it looked like he was going to take a shit right on my brand new outdoor rug!

I was like, WTF? And mom said that it looked like he was trying to poop inside and she thought that was the best alternative!! And I was still like, WTFFFFF???!!

[Poop and anus talk trigger warning ahead]

Then I looked at what was going on. It looked like he had a GIGANTIC TURD stuck in his butthole! It wasn’t going anywhere and nothing was coming out. I told my parents to look around the place and make themselves and home and I’ll take care of George.

I grabbed a poop bag and went to see if I could help him get it out and into a poop bag, but that turd was harder than a rock and STUCK!! It looked like his anus had prolapsed! I immediately got a bucket and a rag and some warm water and told mom and dad that we might need to make a trip to the emergency vet - the situation looked BAD and he was clearly in pain.

Long, long, painful and shitty story, it was all just a massive poop rock that I had to chisel and melt out of his poor doggie ass. It was gory and gross and I had to get him into the shower for more shit extraction. LORD. This was NOT how I wanted to spend my visit with my parents, but I at least got him to a state of cleanliness, and now mom and dad are going to have to watch him closely because I think he might still be having poop problems.

After that, I needed to calm my nerves with an actual glass of bubbly. It worked. I missed most of the Super Bowl clearing the shit from their dog’s ass, but I got to sit down after the halftime show and decompress.

I’m horrified that they never noticed their dog’s issue and it just goes to show that they are able to take care of less and less. And I’m actually quite surprised that my SiL didn’t notice because she’s been bathing George regularly. I told mom and dad that they need to take him to the vet when they get home, but I think we are going to be OK for the rest of today and tomorrow morning.

As long as he doesn’t SHIT on my brand new rugs!!

I know that sounds bad, and I’ve been watching him closely and taking him out to go potty. Poor dude. He’s such a dufus-y dog too. He let me dig all around his little booty, just knowing that I was. helping him out and he was soooo grateful after the shock wore off.

Ughhh. It’s always something, isn’t it?

Mom and Dad were apologetic, and I didn’t want to lay into them too much because, you know, old age and stuff. but damn. I need to talk with my bro.

So let’s hope that’s the only thing that happens while my parents are here. Please!!

Alright. Time to make coffee for the guests!

More later,
GS