On the friends and family members I've outlived. in The Big, Blue House, year one.

And their causes of death. This is a long list.

Judging by the weight and substance abuse among my remaining loved ones and old school friends, I’m going to be the last one standing. I don’t understand how they can witness these same things, and continue to knowingly cut thier lives short. I’m saddened and frustrated and confused. Lung cancer is horrific, slowly dehydrating and asphyxiating in a hospice bed with morphine. Massive heart attacks before you’re sixty are just unnecessary, especially when you have kids you keep saying that you want to be there for.

/endrant

This was inspired by a friend here.

My dad. Lung cancer.
My mom. Lung cancer.
My maternal grandmother. Lung cancer.
My paternal grandmother. Lung cancer.
(Obviously my grandfathers are both also long dead, but they died before I could meet them, and I don’t know from what. )
My Uncle Tim. Passed out drunk, in his car, in front of his ex-wife's house, which had been my maternal grandmother's house, that he subsequently lost in the divorce. In the Michigan winter. Carbon monoxide poisoning. Possibly at least partially because the rest of the family were seriously guilt tripping him over it. Poor guy.
My Uncle Al. Found leaning against his riding mower, frozen. Heart attack while shoveling snow. His son was coming to do it the following day, so it was partially obstinance, and the need to prove something.
My Aunt Liz. Lung cancer.
My Aunt Jane. Lung cancer.
My cousin Kevin. Heart attack at 48, after decades of alcoholism, cigarettes, and obesity.
My Aunt Betty. Breast cancer.
My Aunt Aggie. Breast cancer.
Aggie’s husband. Lung cancer.
The manager of the first deli I worked at, in my hometown. Breast cancer.
Kathy, the sweet lady who taught me pagan chants at festivals, and brought me vegetarian turkey. Breast cancer.
Leonard, on whose property some of those festivals were held. Heart attack. He was thin, and didn't drink a lot, but he smoked and worked at a lumber mill, (hard, hard labor), through two previous heart attacks.
My ex-husband. Died in jail, of unknown causes.
My first real boyfriend. Listed as deceased, no cause given.
Another high school boyfriend, also listed as deceased, with no cause given.
Willum Pugmire, author and acquaintance. Influenza, with a compromised immune system.
Joseph Pulver, author and acquaintance. Diabetes.
My ex-sister-in-law. Cervical cancer. She had several unscrupulous boyfriends after her divorce.
My ex-mother-in-law. Heart attack. She was very obese, and she smoked.
My ex-father-in-law. Heart attack. He was also very overweight, and had had a bypass several years before.
My brother-in-law. Congestive heart failure. He was very obese.
(My half sister, his widow, was scheduled for weight loss surgery, but she had a heart attack while they were prepping her for surgery. She’s subsequently been on a no carb diet.)
My Uncle Pete. Bladder and then later liver cancer. He had a liver transplant, and lived an additional five years.
My Uncle Frank. Throat cancer. He smoked cigars.
My Aunt Mary. Brain cancer.
My Great Uncle Omer. Stroke.
Don's Mom. Parkinson's.
Two young nephews who died when I was ten or so. Riding a go cart on a busy road.
Said nephew's father, my half brother. Beaten to death in a bar fight.
My other half brother. Hepatitis from a dirty needle, using cocaine.
Gary Outlaw, work acquaintance. Hit by a car while crossing the street drunk. (It knocked his shoes off. It was as memorable as it was sad.)
Unknown neighbor in Tennesee, (I was twelve, he was a friend of my parents). Pulled into a wood chipper while drunk.

Edited to add: My Uncle Russell. Kidney failure.

I may make a second part to this if I remember any more.

Last updated February 07, 2023