No Touching in nch_inpatient_692015

restrained by this hospital gown
the fact that I had shit myself

less than twelve hours prior
slowly seeps into the furthest

cerebral hemisphere from my
eyes i shift on the bench

suddenly i am here in this room
simply existing for now

a kid with a distinct eastern
bloc accent surmises that i

am not a threat–nods a
hello it will be ok man
looks like they are admitting

you which means you have no
say when you are going home

everything will be ok i am
dmitry and you are ok

man i believe him because he
appears to understand that what

i am comprehending as yesterday
i had confided in my father

that i do not want to continue
living which is nothing new except

this time i tried to make it
so with pints and

pints of dewars and three
oxycontin and o god now i

think i can smell myself i
am called into an office to

consult with my psychiatrist–
a tired indian woman who

only wants to make sure my meds
are squared away before her

shift ends i tell her i do not belong
here she is probably trained to

ignore that statement but she is
diplomatic offering we will do

everything in our power to get
you home as soon as you are better

right now however we all have
important work to do– later

after the intake meeting, dmitry
extends his hand to me in the

hallway believing now maybe
yes everything will be ok my

psychiatrist takes me to
the side remember how i said

we all need to work to get
you home? well, it looks like

you are determined not to do the
necessary work to make that so

Last updated March 07, 2023