My Circus, My Monkeys in Life As I Know It - 2022

I feel like a ringleader trying to direct multiple rings all at one time.

Dad came home last night. Hes a mess. Im hoping a few days at home will re-orient him but right now hes a mess. He was freaking out over his cord for his heated blanket last night being missing. He forgot that he bought a new one because the white one broke. The new one is black. Then he was freaking out this morning at 6am about his charger cord being missing and he needed the car keys to go look for them.

Pat’s freaking out over the money again. And how bad dad is. How maybe it might be better for him to go to a home after all.

Im willing to give it a week or so though to see if he stabilizes being in familiar surroundings.

Insert big exasperated sigh here.

Im so worn out by all of this. I made several big mistakes at work yesterday because i just cant seem to push through the fog of exhaustion. Thankfully those mistakes could be easily rectified but still. Im very hard on myself when i make mistakes. Just adds to the exhaustion really.

On top of that im out of almost all of my meds. Ive ordered refills but i dont have insurance yet. Not until feb. So ill have to use good Rx and pick up the most vital ones tonight. The rest will just have to wait.

My knees hurt so bad. The right one especially. They wanted to do a kneecap replacement years ago but i think it’s probably at the point of needing a full knee. I just finished a course of prednisone which helped tremendously. I bet they’ll do cortisone shots in both for now. Hate those but they do help.

I need a week of uninterrupted sleep.