Before I Go in These Foolish Things

Greetings from…[Athena]’s place! I’m still in the in-between state of moving, but [Athena] offered me her place (she’s not here - she’s in Alabama with her man at her beach condo) until the movers deliver my stuff on the 24th, so here I am. I’m so grateful that she offered. It’s so much nicer than staying in a depressing hotel or even an Airbnb. Her place is beyond adorable and so, so comfortable. And oh my gosh, Martini loves it here sooooo much because she’s friends with [Athena]’s pups and she’s rolling in their beds and playing with their toys and she couldn’t be happier!

I’ve started posting things about my move on the socials and everyone is coming out of the woodwork to ask me EVERYTHING! “When are you leaving? Where are you going? Tell me about your new gig!”

And the dudes! The guys who were weird with me when we went out on dates seem frantic to have some kind of last chance or something? I don’t know what it is. Why do they care that I’m moving? They were never really even part of my life.

For example, one guy I met maybe six years ago and went out with twice (?) actually called me today. And I was so surprised that I didn’t answer because it felt awkward that he was ringing. He left a cute voicemail that sounded like a guy who wanted to ask me out or something and asked me to call him back.

Another guy, The Rodeo Clown, remember him? Sent me a million rapid fire texts telling me about all of the regret he has that we didn’t get together more often.

But then there are the girlfriends. The support from these women make my heart just explode with gratitude.

I mean, [Athena] with the place to stay and doesn’t mind me being here for over a week.

And tonight my friend Wendy messaged me to tell me that she’s happy to fly out to help me put my new place together. She said we could knock out a whole bunch of things in a weekend together.

And Best Bud is visiting my first weekend and is insisting that her husband bring all of his tools to help me with handyman projects.

I am so lucky.

That doesn’t mean I’m not scared and anxious about this move.

In fact, yesterday I had an ocular migraine before my doctor appointments. I told my PCP about the migraine and he believes it’s stress related. I know I don’t show it, but I honestly am in a place where I’m just getting through each day, checking things off my list. I’m trying to methodically get through this move.

Yesterday was medical day. I had my 3-month primary doc visit AND I had my 3-month oncology visit. They were both good, but every time we talk there are things that need to get scheduled - and I’m trying to now schedule everything on the exact same day so that I can drive up and knock everything out in one fell swoop each time I come back. So that means, the next time I come to [my old city] for doc visits I will have my annual physical, my oncology visit, a mammogram and a bone density scan (and maybe even a pap, but I don’t have to do that every year).

Today was financial day. I met with my financial advisor, who I had to get to slow down because he confuses me every time we talk. I told him that I need big picture, not all of the nitty gritty of the ups and downs and why I’m not seeing big financial gains. I mean, I get that we have had a big slide in the economy, but all I want to know is HOW I can meet my personal financial goals, not WHY. These talks were stressful, and he tried to get me to give him another big chunk of my savings now that I’m going to be working again full time again. I understand his thoughts, that I could be making much more money through interest gains, but I also want to study what he’s talking about a little bit more before giving him $50K out of my savings account, you know? Anyway, more anxiety.

And I’m also trying to see a lot of friends before I go. I can’t see everyone, but it’s nice to say goodbye and hug my girlfriends who’ve meant so much to me these past few years.

I was supposed to join a girls night tonight. I was going to board Martini at her favorite place, but unfortunately the boarding business has had a rash of canine influenza and so I decided not to board her tonight and instead stay home and write an entry and get my head back on straight after the last couple of days.

And so here I am. I’m going to bed early and I am going to sleep in tomorrow morning. I’m going to get a good walk in with Martini and then take her to lunch with me at the dog-friendly place with Marce.

I’m lucky. I’m scared. I’m excited. It’s bittersweet.
GS