Therapy in Therapy

It’s funny how an outsider looking in is capable of breaking things down…where I don’t have the objectivity to do so. This magical unicorn (my therapist) managed to deescalate an argument I had with Mister, prior to leaving the house and also told me, in less than 1 minute, what he was trying to get me to see. How she managed to do that and Mister can’t is beyond me. She brought up something rather important today. She said that I need to focus on taking care of me. Why would something so simple bring me to nearly sobbing. I know that as a mother I’ve always put my kids first. I put my man before myself. I never really realized that I don’t take time for me. It made me realize that I don’t know how to put myself first, not only does that feel wrong but I’m far too busy taking care of the kids, house and home. Then Mu asked me why don’t I see myself as important as everyone and everything else.

I don’t feel less important than my family or household. I’m equally as important. My kids need me, I have things I need to get done in a day… I have to work to take care of bills and random expenses. Taking care of my kids, relationship, home..etc makes me feel loved and accomplished.

Mu can read my facial expressions than the people that have known me for years. Which is super crazy.

Today’s appointment went well. I know each appointment may not leave me feeling so great. I am truly ready to be happier and most importantly healed. I don’t know what that’s going to look like in the future… but I’m ready to find out.