The survey of 2022. in Hot town, summery in the city - 2017

What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before?

I had covid. I had never done that before! T’was March and I was utterly shite but not horrifically I’ll.

What traditions were started?

Hmm. Tough one. I guess we played a board game on Christmas Day which was good. It’s always been tricky before as eldest (autistic) couldn’t cope with not winning but is much better at it now. Hopefully we will go on to play lots of board games.

What traditions were broken?

I don’t know that any were broken but we were going to go back to my dad’s for Christmas for the first time since covid but then we became a plague house and had to cancel. We’re all ill but eldest was the only one with a positive test.

What countries did you visit?

Trying to remember if we made it to Wales this year, it’s only an hour and a half away! But no, I think we didn’t. Eldest and I went to Hallowe’en Town when we saw Nightmare before Christmas live at Wembley Arena though. That was a fabulous adventure!

Where did you go on vacation?

Another year without a proper vacation but I had three mini breaks all by my own. In June I visited Bournemouth for two nights, staying in a 4* hotel and just doing what I wanted to do, in August I stayed with our lovely Mujer and in December I vacationed in our town. A night in a hotel on my own! We have plans for Feb though. We need to make it reality now.

A new food that you were introduced to?

I still have a longing to meet new flavours. But hey Ho. It is what it is. Some of our supermarkets have started doing luxury frozen meals they’re made locally from fresh ingredients and cost far more than you would usually pay but they’re really nice. They’re not new foods though.

[currently feeling very grrrr cause I added loads to this and it lost all my added stuff so I left it for two days (and now there are ten entries to read) and now I’ll do it again!]

So, R and I were sitting in a lovely little local Malaysian cafe the other day and I was eating the most divine Malaysian chicken curry with freshly made roti and talking about this survey. R pointed out that I have tried a few new foods this year and I had totally forgotten 🤣

So we have a Korean fast food place open up called The Bap. It’s very much like a Subway with various containers of food that you request to be put in your tub with rice or noodles. We’ve been a few times and it’s really good. Also, one Sunday earlier in the year we walked into town along a scenic (ie a few more trees on the road) route and ended up eating a selection of dumplings in a Nepalese restaurant. They were really nice too. Then, of course, the Malaysian cafe. The flavours in their chicken curry are so amazing, intense while each flavour seems to stand out too. I also had a citrus and ginger tea made with sliced ginger and citrus peel. It was amazing!!

What was your favourite TV program?

Ooh, two Netflix shows. A Danish one called Rita which I totally love but need to be in the right mood to watch as it’s obviously in Danish so there are a lot of subtitles to read. It’s about a teacher who had a messed up childhood and breaks all the rules in order to give the kids she teaches the best opportunities, she’s always fighting the school board! Then I also fell in love with the delightful fantasy that is Emily in Paris. I’ve got through most of series 3 which dropped last week but, at the same time, I want to make it last, like the most delectable pudding!
edit to add: I’ve finished it

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Not discoveries per se, more like affirmations. The discovery that Billie Eilish was as damned awesome live (Glastonbury on telly) as on the radio, that Taylor Swift is still amazing when her new album dropped (I have the extended version in lilac in the car), those were fabulous musical moments. However, at the Nightmare live there was an incredible violinist by the name of Sandy Cameron. She’s someone who will never blend in to an orchestra.

What song will always remind you of this year?

Hmm, difficult. A particular song for this year? Maybe Antihero by Ms Swift.

What was the best book you read?

This year? I’m trying to remember 🤣🤣 I have a constant pile of books by the bed, new ones go at the bottom and then I read the top of the pile. Am I going into too much detail here? 🤣🤣 anyway, the point is that I can’t remember the majority of books I’ve read 🤣 I get most of the books at book swaps so haven’t invested time and effort into choosing them. I’m currently reading a book about two people and their lives in London and how they link up through reading lists (edit: it’s called The Reading List) and the books on them. I don’t remember what it’s called but R bought it for me for my birthday.

What were your favourite films this year?

We finally signed up to Disney+ and I fell in love with a lot of the Pixar Shorts. This is my favourite though.

As well as that I saw Coco and Soul which I loved, both giving different ideas of how a soul carries on after death as well as how we become who we are.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept during 2020?

Over sized, mismatching charity shop finds and saggy supermarket jeans (the cheaper the jeans, the more lycra they contain). Long covid has kicked my arse and made running fucking impossible and I’ve put weight on.

Which celebrity/public figure do you fancy most?

There is no one specifically but I’ve always had a bit of a thing for James McAvoy, since he was in Early Doors playing the landlord’s daughter’s boyfriend.

He left Early Doors when he got the job on Shameless and the script writer for Early Doors added a subtle joke when the landlord said “it’s shameless he left her!” about the character dumping his daughter 🤣🤣
This is him in Shameless:

And I also have a bit of a thing for Simon Reeve. T and I started watching him as education and he’s brilliant. And also really attractive.

What political issue stirred you the most?

Weeelllll, I imagine it would have a lot to do with the clusterfuck that is our ‘democratic’ system. Was partygate even this year? Fuck knows! It’s the utter shite-hole that is the previous ‘leader’ using his position to line his fat-cat pockets and those of his buddies, it’s using Lis Truss as a fall guy. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t suggest she had any empathy during her leadership AT ALL, but I think she was chosen to be the fall guy in order to make Sunak seem like a better option. I think the advisors gave her all kinds of bollocksing shite to make her the negative focus before Sunak could come and ‘rescue’ us all.

Add to that the effing bombastic Putin invading Ukraine with an “and what you gonna do about it?!” attitude, and the massive rise in the cost of living, so many of us can no longer afford luxuries like regular ice cream in the freezer while others can’t even afford three meals a day. The imbalance of the spread of wealth. The people unable to have their heating on. It’s all an utter fuck up. And yes, Brexit is largely to blame.

Internet memes that will always remind you of this year?

Ahh, thanks to Cinnamonia there are far too many fabulous memes to be able to remember just one 🤣🤣

Where did most of your money go?

Hmm, I think I mentioned that in my previous rant. Food and bills. In fact all of it. There’s nothing left over!

What was the best thing you bought?

Ahh, I mentioned the charity shopping previously. Well, we have a charity shop near us that has prices which make other charity shops seem like designer labels. All clothes are 50p each. A couple of weeks ago, T and I were in there and I found a pink Weird Fish sweater for 50p. The self same sweater I have looked at in our outlet mall a few times and felt unable to justify the money. But 50p? Cheaper than a blooming chocolate bar!! Yes please!

Like this but pink:

Other than that it wasn’t my money that bought it but… as T’s registered carer I am entitled to a one off payment of up to £500 in a year for some kind of respite for myself. My two nights in Bournemouth were bought with that grant and made such a huge difference to my long covid (which studies have suggested is more prevalent in those with higher cortisol levels). I went from only just being able to walk to the beach from the hotel on Friday night to being able to walk quite a way along the beach on Sunday afternoon.

Where were you New Year’s Day of 2022?

I just checked my Facebook memories and there is no entry from last NYD. I know that I was struggling emotionally quite a lot so it could be because of that. I would say that we were probably at home because of T. Just as we are this year.

How did you spend Christmas 2022

it was nice. We all did covid tests before heading up north to visit vulnerable family members and found that T was positive so we stayed at home, chilled out and had a lovely time. We played T’s new Doctor Who game, ate lots but not too much etc. It has been a nice family time this year.

How did you spend New Year’s Eve 2022?

That was last night! R and I went to Waitrose to find the NYE nibbles shelf decimated! Most of the freezer section was empty etc but we were able to cobble together a selection of vegetarian and L friendly foods. Over the course of the evening I cooked bits so there was never a ridiculous amount on the table and we watched The Full Monty before Jools Holland’s Hootenanny. The kids drank cider and T got giggly/tipsy for the first time ever. It was quite funny and refreshing to see. At midnight we went outside and watched the neighbours’ fireworks while another neighbour brought her dogs out to teach them that fireworks are okay. They were brilliant. I think we were all in bed by 2am and this morning T doesn’t want to do anything so had breakfast in order to assist the anti-anxiety meds and disappeared again. L is her usual stroppy self. Oh I love the mid-teen years 🤣🤣

How old did you turn on your birthday (and what did you do)?

Fifty two. I turned 52. Having kids made the years between my 30s and 50s disappear. I was so focused on them that I forgot about me 🤣🤣 what did I do? Um…. We’ll, it was on Sunday and I know I went out somewhere because I remember realising I had forgotten my “keep calm it’s Kate’s birthday” badge 🤣🤣 it was only four weeks ago too. Hold on, I’ll check FB again 🤦🏻‍♀️ no FB wasn’t forthcoming… I spent the Friday night on my own in a hotel which was my gift from R and it was bliiisss. I did nothing for the twenty hours I was there!!

What date from last year will be etched upon your memory forever and why?

I don’t have a specific date but just over the summer when we finally got a coordinator at CAMHS who listened to and believed us. I did end up having to write a second by second diary of everything I witnessed T going through and emailed it every day. After five days of that our waiting list of several months changed to two weeks! T got the anti-anxiety meds and fast forwarded to OCD therapy. All our lives have improved.

If you could relive any day from 2022, which would it be and why?

The Saturday in Bournemouth. It was the only full day there so I didn’t have to do anything. And I swam in the sea for the first time in a loooong time.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not anyone close, no. I’m at an inbetween age where most people I know are beyond or before giving birth. There is a lovely lady on PB who has a gorgeous baby, born earlier this year. I wish I were closer (as we used to be) so I could babysit 😊

Did anyone close to you die?

No. I didn’t go to any funerals in any case.

Whose behaviour merits celebration?

Always T for always fighting to get better, even on those days when the fight means spending the day in bed in the dark. It’s all about listening to your own needs. Always L who’s life is affected by T’s issues, for learning to plunge the toilet when a whole roll was used by T. L gets resentful but it’s understandable.

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

I want to talk about refugees. About political discussions to turn back overladen, waterlogged boats full of desperate people. I want to talk about the experiences those people have lived in order to make the decisions to put themselves and their families in those positions. I want to talk about it but I absolutely cannot because I do not have that lived experience. I can empathise but I cannot know. All these Sun readers and politicians who claim these people are scroungers have disappointed and angered me massively. If you want a true understanding of what someone would have to go through to travel in danger then please read the book The Beekeeper of Aleppo. ‘Nuff said.

Do you hate/dislike anyone that you didn’t hate/dislike this time last year?

I think hate and disking are strong emotions. There is one person who I work with that I had to report and that is still ongoing. I have to attend an unofficial tribunal this coming week. I’m not allowed to say anything else about it though.

Who is somebody who has changed your life in 2022?

The coordinator at CAMHS. I can’t tell you his name as it’s very unusual. His ability to listen, to both myself, R and T. To pick out the important parts of what has been said. Everything about what he has done for us is outstanding and, while I know it’s his job, the treatment we have had before has made it feel as though he has gone above and beyond to support us.

Who did (do) you miss?

My dad. I haven’t seen him since Christmas 2019 and we were supposed to see him this Christmas but we cancelled after T’s positive test. However I’ve pencilled in a family holiday in Feb to stay in a holiday cottage on the Yorkshire coast and can then see all family during that week. I can’t bloody wait!!

Who was the best person (people) you met?

All the people that have worked with T at camhs! And it was lovely to finally meet the lovely Twinkle as well as the annual meet up with Mujer (although I wish that could happen more often).

What did you want and get?

A break, in a hotel, all by my own!!

What did you want and not get?

A miracle cure for T (which I know doesn’t exist, but a girl can have a fantasy, right?!).

What is one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Being financially comfortable. (The same answer as every year I’ve done this I think!!)

What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022?

To be able to run again. Long covid is a Bastard.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Running!! And being at the beach. And hiking. And seeing family.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Feeling stressed. I have learned some good relaxation techniques which are helping. Yesterday I stomped around our local lake and slithered through mud. Felt loads better after!

What did you get really, really excited about?

Going to Bournemouth!!

What is something you took for granted in 2022?

The ability of our sewage systems. Yes, really! With the quantities of toilet paper that T has gone through, the amount of times (for a while several times a day) that the toilet was blocked and needed to be plunged, just assuming the sewage systems would deal with it. As it turned out, we ended up having to pay £108 to a plumber after our neighbour’s garden was covered in toilet paper out of our drain!! We’ve bought a massive bin now and empty the majority of it out manually before the plunge. I lived such a glamorous life! 🤣

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Decorating the living room. It still had the purple wallpaper that was on the walls when we bought the house in 2003 but it was starting to look tatty. A job that would usually take me a few days took a couple of weeks because of tiredness but it looks lovely, with cream on the top half of the walls and mustard yellow on the bottom half.

What was your biggest failure?

(This is the same answer from two years ago, edits in brackets) I agree with the cosmic kitty because it isn’t something I’m particularly bothered about but I have used food in a big way to deal with enormous stress over the past (two and a half years). I would rather I had found other ways to deal with my emotions but I didn’t. I can’t change it.

What was the funniest thing that happened to you this year?

My kids have wicked senses of humour and we had a lot of helpless, body shaking giggles.

What was the worst thing that happened to you in 2022?

Suicide attempts (half hearted or otherwise) by T.

What was the best thing that happened to you this year?

My three times away. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my family but all batteries need recharging from time to time. June in Bournemouth, August with mujer and December in a hotel five miles away.

What was the hardest thing you did this year?

Take a step back to try to encourage T to be more independent. Stop being the centre point of all her activities and let her do more of the arranging.

What is something you have vowed to never do again?

Should there be ‘nevers’ or should there be what will I do insteads?

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I may have mentioned this… effing covid and it’s long lasting after effects.

What kept you sane?

My usual answer would be running but that’s not possible this year so I shall say my three breaks xx

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? definitely happier. I was struggling massively this time last year.
ii. Thinner or fatter? if it’s possible I’m even fatter. At my fattest, one could say!
iii. Richer or poorer? definitely poorer even though we have both had pay rises!
iv. Older or Wiser? I actually got younger this year 😂😂🙂

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I still don’t do New Years resolutions, I change things when I want to change them. (Another answer I’ve never changed!)

What was a valuable life lesson you learned last year?

If you want to be heard, write a minute by minute diary and email it to the people who need to know on a daily basis!

Tell us something you’ve learned about yourself.

I’m actually pretty good at doing nails!

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

This one because it’s important to remember that, no matter what shit you’re going through, everyone has their own shit too.

This one because, looking beyond the lyrics, you realise this isn’t Taylor’s thoughts but those she has been accused of over her career. It’s a testament to her vulnerability in the face of criticism and her ability to fight through it. I’ve discovered that reaching my age makes you decrepit in the eyes of others. Assumptions that I can’t use computers and the internet (my response is always: I met my husband in the internet last century! And in a discussion at work last week I discovered that a lot of my younger colleagues hadn’t ordered stuff on the internet until lockdowns while both my Amazon and eBay accounts date back to last century!), that I’m backward thinking and a bit thick. I just quietly prove people wrong rather than noisily defend myself. It’s fucking frustrating though!

Please all, have a wonderful 2023. Be nice, be open and listen to your own and other’s hearts.