Therapy in POV

I’ve recently decided that I want to start going to therapy. 1. I had a panic attack recently that scared the absolute fuck out of me. 2. I was happy when the attack occurred. 3. I have trauma that I’ve dealt with and I want to work on it.

I deserve to move forward and stop being toxic. I know I have toxic mannerisms. Usually when I’m triggered but I’m so tired of it. I feel like I’ve moved passed a lot of my old trauma. I can speak about all of it freely. What I can’t stop are the endless negative thoughts that I have of myself or how low/dark my emotions and thoughts are from simple every day life. I want to learn how to cope effectively. I want to be a better woman. I’ve done as much as I can outside of my emotional/mental and I possibly can.

Is it weird to be excited about finally going to therapy?