Breaking free of Beau [Friends Only Entry] Monday, November 25, 2002
I made my decision. I told Beau that him and I could be friends but nothing more. He didn't take it very easy. I told him that I was still in love with Keith and that I couldn't mess things up with Keith. I think I did the right thing. I don't want any regrets and I know I would have regretted giving up on Keith. It only makes sense to try to make Keith and I's friendship into something more if that is who I feel so strongly about. I didn't feel anything for Beau. However, now I do feel a little bit disheartened knowing that he doesn't want to even be my friend. He said he could never stay friends with someone that chooses someone deceitful over someone that isn't.
Perhaps he just doesn't truly understand what love is about or perhaps he is just upset. I don't know what I am supposed to do anymore. I just want everyone to be happy. But mostly, I want Keith to love me. Perhaps that's too much to ask. I am pretty patient. I'll wait a long time for Keith to come around. I think he will. If by chance he doesn't.. then that is something I will live with. There's not much that would make me stop loving him. Even if he walks out of my life forever, I will never forget him.
I will NEVER in a million years forget the day I was standing near him in McDonalds and I felt an overwhelming need to just be held by him. My whole body was weak. I have never felt like that about anyone. When he holds me I feel like there is nothing in this world that can hurt me. Keith is the person I was born to be with. Even though God put us about 11,000 miles apart when we were born we are only 5 miles apart now. Does it make it any easier for us? Only time will tell I guess.
I just talked to Beau. He said he understands that I love Keith, but he still says he thinks he has a chance. He thinks Keith will be out of my life by the holidays and he will be able to win me back. See? He's so sweet.
Anyway.. I am outie.
Her
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guys named BEAU are TROUBLE!!!!!!!
-hurt by a Beau haha
[Self possessed doll]
11/25/2002 11:57:28 PM
anyone named Beau is trouble. ;)
RYN: Thank you for your support...and the language is latin [þseudo$ubstantiality]
11/27/2002 12:54:44 AM
jl 12/10/2002 11:55:44 PM
dwp 1/8/2003 3:37:53 AM
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