Tik Tok Replacement in The Secret Writings of Eros: Book 3- Fallout, Pain, Acceptance, and Perseverance

This is something I would more likely have put on Tik Tok but… I’m not feeling Camera-Friendly today and I’m not sure I could say this in a cute quippy way so it is best shared in writing.

My TikTok viewing today started as normal. A little bit with dogs, a little bit with politics, a little bit with cooking, a little bit with video editing, some musicians, some comedians, some therapists, some journalists. All in all, pretty good. Then I got in this really weird place. It would be as follows:
Video: Female discussing how it was really tough to be alone on the holidays. Non thirst trap, just a genuine “This time of year is difficult” kind of post.
followed by
Video: Female making a joke, with a large winking nod to the camera, about being tied up for Christmas and how, “Oh no, what’s a Rope Bunny to do?”
Now, the genders and specifics changed… but there was a good run there where it was that. VIDEO about being alone this time of year; followed by Pro-Kink Content. Video about wanting a relationship but it being tough to find; followed by Kink Positive Content.

And… ultimately? It felt like a cosmic coincidental exact sequence to bring out that Primary Question in my mind.

It is hard to find a relationship these days. Internet Dating is one of the worst Default Decisions this culture has ever made. Especially as a 38 year old, 5 foot 7 feet tall, 230 pound Criminal Prosecutor/Actor who can barely muster up the consistent energy to finish setting his house up. I don’t have the time, energy, or emotional fortitude to be on seven different apps, constantly trying to shoot my shot, to only ever receive silence in return (but for 5 times in 3 years). That… isn’t working out.
On the flip side? I now DO have experience and memories and a “learned desire” for certain kinds of kink. So while I’m not happy with zero relationships… while I’m not happy for the fact that there hasn’t even been a hug or a meaningful kiss on the cheek in over 666 days (ha, what do you know?) … there’s also that… “and I know what I want regarding kink now, which is a fine thing to know, but utterly meaningless when I can’t even get an affectionate hand shake or a first date. “

TikTok was just… very on point in its algorithm in connecting to that
“Is it better to know and want? To have memories of what was good and worry that you’ll never find it again? Or is it better to not know and want? To have nothing but curiosity and hope?”