Keith: The Good and The Bad [Friends Only Entry] Thursday, November 14, 2002
It's been a few days since Keith has called. It's not hurting all that bad. Of course I am sad, but who were we kidding? Did he really think I was just going to let him have sex with me and leave all the time? Perhaps he was just waiting until I gave up on him and now he is going onto the next person. I can't help but think, "Who cares?"
Of course, I care a little. I mean, he used to talk about all these feelings he had for me. Then they completely disapeared. What's really crazy is this. Everytime I write that he should stop calling me, it happens. It's almost as though he is reading this diary. ;) Or maybe it's just a coinsidense.
To be honest... I miss him a lot. However, I know that this is best. If I can just forget about him, and he forget about me, it'll be all good. Just like he always says, "It's all good."
There was a time that Keith was amazing to me. Everything he did, and everthing he said to me was simply amazing. It was just like the fairy tale I had always dreamed about. The only thing missing was the white horse and a beautiful dress. I'll never forget the time we danced. I'll never forget the walks we went on. I'll never forget the first time we kissed and the secret thing that happened that night that even he doesn't know. I won't forget the one and only police ride... the day he told me I had no faults... The trick he did with the A/C at McDonalds... the KoolAid and sugar mixture... the time at Westbay Clubhouse... the days he "flew like superman" to Westbay... the day he charged a cell phone for me on his credit... the way he carried me to bed... the way he read my diaries... the way he asked me questions... the way he used to tell me to calm down when I got upset... the way he went after me when I was upset... the ways he showed me he cared...
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I will also always remember... The way he stopped calling.. the night he watched his brother yell at me... the night his friend tried to burn me with a cigarette and again he just watched... the day he called me Tadiwa... the times he avoided my phone calls... the times he said he'd call but didn't... the night he stood me up and didn't even call... the way he won't stick up for me... the times he put me last... the way he stopped trying to make me happy... the way he will never forgive me... the way he gave up on me... the way he stopped loving me...
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And through it all... I will never stop loving him... even after I forget him.
Her
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jl 12/10/2002 11:42:48 PM
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