Where the fuck I've been and what I've been doing in Journal 2022

Hey, I’ve been gone for nearly a month. I guess I should explain myself.

I guess I’ve started sexting. I told myself that I needed to let go of Joseph and my pain. I needed to self destruct, I had to let myself just get degraded enough even if he wanted me, I’d be to dirty anyway for it to happen.

The guys were nice. We talked, two I talk to daily now. One requested a break due to my health and that felt nice. I know they just see me as a friend, not love, possibly like, it’s boundaries.

I think school has been fun. Stressful but fun. I spent my days studying, crying, being sent so may dick pics for fucks sake, etc etc etc. And I just let them say whatever. Want to beat me up? Yes go ahead.

Want to choke me out and stomp on me afterwards? Do it. Want to treat me like property? FINE BY ME. I don’t really care anymore. I just don’t and is not like I don’t feel good with attention and the compliments afterwards.