Mister.. He likes to downplay health issues to keep panic/emotions neutral across the board (family, friends, myself). Which is understandable to a degree. He’s been in the hospital for the last week. Last night the doctor came into the room and delivered bad news that progressively became worse news. The doctor ends everything with Mister can no longer work because even though Mister feels great, nearly anything that is “too much” for him can send Mister on to Glory. Obviously the doctor said more than that. The questions that Mister asked the doctor felt like he didn’t listen to a fucking word the doctor said. Mister asked if he could still go to the gym and work out, if he could work his hard labor job (mind you this is after the doctor explained that the only thing Mister can do at this point is go home and take it easy, with a life saving device) amongst other questions that made the doctor look at Mister funny. The doctor also told Mister that if he wanted to see his children graduate high school then he would HAVE to make all of the changes.. Mister still asked questions about making exceptions to the rules.
I tried diligently to see this objectively. Mister basically has to give up everything, including work. This man is an amazing provider for our family. The diet changes, which are permanent, I told him that we, as a family will make the changes with him. His whole life as he’s previously lived it has to now take on dramatic levels of change. I asked him last night, after a couple of hours, what he valued more, quality of life or longevity. He said he would rather live the next year the way he always has than to make the changes and see our kids have kids. As a man, who prides himself on his ability to take care of his family, I can understand that. As a mother of four children, I don’t understand that mindset at all. How could you bring these lovely little humans into the world and choose smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, eating all the wrong foods, and partake in activities that can kill you over making changes so you can be there for them and watch them grow?
I’ve internalized my frustration and am supportive of Mister. The last thing he needs is for me to be his headache and stress rather than his peace.
Last updated September 22, 2022