My legs.... in Random Thoughts

Feel like I gave Rosie O’Donnell a piggy back ride, then she sat on my lap for 3 hours. It’s not good, I tell ya!

So this has been going on for 2 weeks, and in that time I’ve been switched to Abilify, and I also spent a day in a boat house, up and down an extension ladder, and the water wasn’t quite calm, then I’ve not stopped much since then. So, I’m not sure if this is medication related, or job related. When I was on Seroquel, that gave me restless leg syndrome if I didn’t go to bed on time. This feels a little bit like that, except mostly uncomfortable on the front of my thighs (I don’t remember what those muscles are called. In anatomy class, I was paying more attention to BL’s anatomy, TBH.) But my legs just cannot get comfortable unless I’m laying down, and even then, I can only manage certain positions that are comfortable. It’s INCREDIBLY annoying.

I’m also averaging something like 4.5-5 hours of sleep at night, regardless of when I go to bed. I go to bed early, I wake up earlier. I go to bed late, I still wake up early. I don’t do much during a day, I have a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. I run myself into the ground during the day, and sleep only marginally better. I’m also wondering if this lack of sleep is playing into what’s going on with my legs. They also feel like they weigh 3 tons each when I try and walk. I don’t feel like I’m moving at my normal pace anymore. And spare me the age thing. This happened rather quickly to be age related.

I’ve got an appointment to talk to my doctor on 18-Aug, so I’ll address it then. I’m honestly trying to give Abilify the benefit of the doubt, as I have managed more productive time since I’ve been on it. I’ve been stalling on buying an enclosed trailer for several months, and even after I planned a trip to go hang out with friends out of state, I still stalled on it. Well, I finally bought it last weekend. And started putting stuff to take to my friend’s in it. Part of my collection. Don’t ask what. It would give too much about who I am away. Ya know, gotta be that anonymous cretin on here. I probably misspelled that.
“Meh, whatever.” -Mediocrates

I found this jazzy instrumental Super Mario mix on YT. I’m listening to it now. It’s really good, and it’s not a distraction from writing. Maybe this is the trick to use to get back to writing. Interesting instrumental music. I also should be putting on instrumental music and meditating. I think that would also be helpful to me, but again, it’s something I keep stalling on. Hopefully I get around to that again soon. And more spiritual studies. Not religious- spiritual. I said something about spiritual studies to someone a while back, and I got quoted something from Psalms. “Close, but not quite that.” I get tired of doing the Agnes Brown when someone quotes me religious text. “That’s nice.”

On that, I’ve really gotta work on being a politely dismissive asshole more. I tend to let too much slide or go along with things whether I agree with them or want to or not. It’s yet another frustration. I have gotten better about saying “no” more, and standing my ground, instead of just going along with shit just to be people pleasing. It was a bad work centered habit. But I am putting myself first, and not letting people push me over. It kinda shocked a few people at first, it seemed.

Still no luck on the dating front. I got recommended Match.com, which I may do, and someone else said eHarmony. They’re possibilities. Everything but Tinder ran out as of Monday this week, so it’s just the one. Well, that and Facebook dating, which is about as useful as tits on a bullfrog. I every once in a while catch a girl checking me out, or that’s what it seems like anyway. Wish one of them would just walk up and start a conversation about whatever is relevant to the situation. It would make things so much easier. Or I’m misreading the situation. I am socially inept after all. They’re probably laughing at me. Whatever. Anyway…

Well, I get to go grind myself into the pavement one more day, then it’s the weekend. So there’s that. Wheeeee.