Bad dreams about breakup in Journal 2022

Hi everyone, I have to make this quick. It’s very late and I feel a migraine coming on. I get those constantly now as mentioned before. It feels awful now.

I got my hair done and my friend canceled on me. I couldn’t sleep well as the fire alarm was triggered in the building again for 2 hours and I just wanted a bit of sleep please.

I haven’t been writing much. I felt like I didn’t need to and I was hurt. The 2 month anniversary of the breakup has passed. I’m okay, just I cried a little.

I had some bad dreams about it. It’s normal for me but it hurt. I have worked on losing weight. It’s not healthy as I’m 113 at 64 inches but it helps me feel better.

I sleep more, take notes for my future classes. I will have no one to talk to during them again. I don’t want to risk opening up too much anymore, it’s too dangerous as post breakup and old entries explain.

My anxiety towards men is returning. It’s not like I hate men I just feel scared near a bunch. It’s scary and I’ve been reading alot of posts about men and its uncomfortable.

I don’t want to be attracted to them, it’s so risky. I dreamed about my uterus being much so they would leave me alone. I just don’t want to open my heart again.

When you wear certain clothes, they stare at you live vultures. Like they’ll rip me apart, I think back back when I said I was scared on the bus because it was all men left. I thought I moved past these anxieties but now it’s like they all flooded back into my brain.

Sorry this is sad. I just don’t feel good like I mentioned above. I REALLY wish I didn’t like men, I just can’t stop having bad dreams. They aren’t nightmares their not like horrific anymore, idk what I’m saying. Sorry.