Nothing to See Here in These Foolish Things

Happy Saturday. Pretty quiet day so far.

I took Martini out for an early morning walk on the downtown trail (alas, did not meet anyone, ha!). We walked for about 4 miles and then we went to the downtown farmers market to see what we could see.

Inflation is hitting everywhere, but MAN, has it impacted the prices of produce at the farmers market. It used to be $5 for an overfilled 1/2 pint produce container of peaches. And the last time I was there in early July, they were $6. But today, the peaches were $7! And early morning on Saturday showed slim pickins. I decided to leave and go to the grocery store later today. Maybe that’s not the right thing to do - I know I want to support local, but this girl’s been unemployed since March! I gotta watch every dollar!

Speaking of unemployed, I don’t want to delve into it too much because it seems like every time I talk or write too much I jinx the opportunity somehow. I don’t know why this is, but it seems to be the case. And it agitates me when I get asked a lot of questions. Why is that? Is it that I think that people are judging me? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m anxious and ready for something major to happen. I’ll know more next week and may or may not report back right away. Just know that I’m chomping at the bit to report something exciting!

In not-so-exciting news, I’ve given up on Neighbor Dude. Not only is he terrible with communications (as in, one-word texts or simply dumb abbreviations for words), but his stories don’t add up. He told me a story about the 4th of July when we first met, and then his story changed the next time we talked about the fireworks. He’s told me several times about business trips, and even said he was going to be out of town on Thursday, so he wanted to get together before then - and then never made plans to do anything. So on Thursday evening, there was another concert at the amphitheater in the park and I was outside with Martini when the band started playing so we sat down and listed for a while and then continued on with our walk. But it got me thinking about Neighbor Dude and wondering what happened to our getting together before Thursday.

So I sent him a text asking if he left on his travels yet because the band was outside playing....

And he wrote back about two hours later saying that no, he hadn’t gone on his trip but that he missed the band. Darn!

Hm. Not adding up.

And I haven’t heard from him since. Nor have I seen him walking/running. Maybe he finally left on his trip? Regardless, I’m just over it.

And I honestly have zero desire to even hang out with anyone. I’m getting a little nervous that I’m turning into an utter loner. I really enjoy doing things completely solo and seem to have taken it to the extreme during my Funemployment time.

At first, I thought that I could maybe have a Hot Girl Summer. You know, get on the dating apps and have dinner dates and late nights and even lunch dates and coffees with new people, but I have wanted none of that for months.

I know there are a few things at play here. First, I have been working on being healthy and not drinking and eating right, so there goes some dinner date-y type things, and then the idea of Covid still has me nervous to be inside too much with too many people. But perhaps the biggie is that I am so content with the way things are right now (well, not with the employment thing, but you know what I mean). I just don’t want to mess things up by getting entangled with someone.

Am I going to be like this for the rest of my life? Who knows. I just know I’m fine with being solo - so much so that I am afraid that I’m closed off to the possibility of being with someone else.

I’ve been pushing out seeing my therapist due to not having much to report and my unemployed status, but I feel like a meeting might be in order to talk me through some of these thoughts.

Anyway, like I said, not much to see here.
xo,
GS