Mothers Eulogy in Writing To Escape [Open Diary Entries]

I haven't decided whether or not I will be reading the eulogy. I'll decide that tomorrow when we've edited it and added a few bits in. I have written the eulogy myself, having to keep it short due to time constraints, so before it is edited to something different I thought I'd post the original here, maybe one day I will come back to it:

Our Marie

We've gathered here today to pay our respects, to say our goodbyes but most of all to celebrate the life of 'our Marie.'

A woman of amazing courage, fortitude and strength. The turn out today is testament alone to those attributes and the person that she was and will remain to be within our hearts.

Most, if not all of you here will hopefully have experienced either her gentle compassion or her fiery tongue, both if you were lucky :) I know I got both quite a few times growing up that's for sure.

In her early 20's my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, the road she walked then was not an easy one, however through that event my mother gained a sister and best friend for life, we were blessed with a further 25 years with Marie, in those remaining years she touched so many lives with her work within the community for domestic violence, breast cancer, outreach and finally Calderstones.

Marie was a giver and genuinely had an enormous heart, an amazing compassion to stand up for the little guy and to just do the right thing by people. Never once do I recall her ever asking for thanks or reward for the acts of kindness she'd keep quiet about, she did so much for so many to simply bring them joy and then she came home to make tea for me as though it was nothing, she never said a word. Humble in so many ways but the gratitude of those people has never been forgotten.

My mother's passing has been difficult to take for a lot of people, understandably so considering that she was taken from us so soon, and in the end so suddenly.

Equally as quick however, has been the response from friends, family and people who knew her from both her current and what seems to me like a life time ago, you have all travelled far and wide to express your sincerest sympathies but also your sincerest thanks for what Marie, my mother meant to you individually, be it through text, letter, email or in person.

Your messages were truly heartfelt by myself and the family, you acknowledged and recognised Marie's existence and that she held a valuable and what will now be an irreplaceable place within all of our hearts.

The messages people have given us in whatever form all echo how loving she was, how kind she was and how people would not be where they are now if it were not for her acts of kindness and sometimes stubbornness when it came to things in life. In the end we all thought we had more time with her, we take the time we have with each other for granted sometimes, never realising how each moment can truly be precious in its own unique way.

Marie also thought she had more time than was given to her in the end, she wanted to spend that time with her friends and family, she wanted to go on holiday, to have one more drink, one more meal and to laugh with all of us all just one more time.

If there was ever a lesson to be learned from Marie's passing it is to savour each moment in life, to take no one you love for granted and make memories valuable to your heart because we don't know what is waiting for us round the next corner.

The family version - massively edited by me.

“OUR MARIE”

Today we are here to pay our respects, to say our goodbyes but most of all we're here to celebrate the life of 'our Marie.'

She was a mum, a sister, an aunt, a friend and a wonderful human being.

She was a woman of amazing courage, fortitude and strength but above all else had a wicked sense of humour which she used to see her through the darkest days.

Many of you will not know that Marie had a difficult life. She lost her dad at the Hapton Valley Pit disaster when she was only 15 months old.

She then developed breast cancer at the age 27 and whilst she made a wonderful recovery, she was constantly battling with her health in one way or another.

She tried not to be defined by her illness (and she never was) so she used those early difficult years after the breast cancer to educate herself in a way that could help others, because that's just who she was.

Marie was already in the caring profession but she went on to become a counsellor so she could help other breast cancer patients through her own experiences, she then began to work with women who were victims of domestic violence.

She quite literally saved lives with her intuition and dedication to the job. Marie was a giver and genuinely had an enormous heart, an amazing compassion to stand up for the little person and just to do what was right by people.

We can never recall her ever asking for thanks or reward for her selfless acts of kindness. She simply did it to help and bring comfort to those less fortunate than herself. We know that this is just as true today by the cards, texts, Facebook messages and letters that we have received in abundance.

As a mum she was simply ‘the best’. At times I admit she had a tough job, but she never gave up, she gave me enormous support, guidance, love and more than a few telling offs along the way, although I still maintain that I of course was always innocent!

It was the relationship with her sister Yvonne though, that was truly special. Since 1988 when Marie was diagnosed with Breast Cancer they became almost inseparable, regardless of where in the world Yvonne was. They were the best of friends despite being quite different in so many ways, but the core, the essence and the souls of them are identical. They loved and supported each other unconditionally. They've shared many memories together which were very special to both of them.

She was a wonderful aunt and family member, she was always there for you and each of you know what she meant to you and what you meant to her.

As for her friends, she was something different to each of you, however, all of you...All of you have said how good she was at listening to your problems and helping you through them. She loved her social outings with you and her trips to Benidorm each year. Whenever she returned she always brought back this beaming, radiant smile...What you all got up to I shudder to think and I never did dare ask.

As a work colleague she was well respected and well thought of, during her illness you have been supportive, kind and compassionate. You became a big part of her life, you became her friends and I know you will miss her enormously.

Marie has been poorly for some months and sadly her departure from this world was not an easy one. She bore her illness in the past few months with dignity and gentleness. Marie always tried to remain positive, so it came as a great shock to us to have her taken from us with no warning.

In the months prior to her death Marie did withdraw from the world a little and so some of you will not have seen her for a while. This wasn’t personal, but just, her way of trying to get better so please don’t think she was cutting you out or being difficult, she was so appreciative of everything that was done for her by all of you.

She had hope in her heart for more time and even though she knew that a cure was remote, she did hope for the cancer to be contained. She battled so hard with the brutal treatment because she wanted more time, she wanted longer with all of us. We know that we were lucky to get another 25 years with her and we always cherished the time that we spent together, especially in the last few years as a family.

She recognised that she was fortunate to have overcome her breast cancer and never felt sorry for herself. Marie tried to enjoy each day and we all genuinely thought that we would have had more time with her and so did she.

We'd made plans to do simple things whilst she was recovering, she wanted to spend time with her friends, with her family, she wanted to go on holidays, to have a drink, to have a meal and to laugh with all of us all again, even if just once more, but sadly those plans never came to fruition.

If there was ever a lesson to be learned from Marie's passing, it is to savour each moment in life, to take no one you love for granted and to make valuable memories that are close to your heart because none of us know what is waiting for us around life's next corner.

Marie's passing has left a great void in all of our hearts and life will never be the same again. We will miss her profoundly. We loved her company, her humour and her kindness. We will miss her little moments of madness, her stubbornness and sometimes bizarre determination along with her little surprises (which I am sure will continue to come in the post each day for some time to come!).

She was wonderful.

It was our pleasure and privilege to take care of Marie and we have to thank those people outside of the family who were there for her during this difficult time. She really appreciated it and never stopped singing your praises. So thank you, it meant more than you will ever know.

And thank you to everybody who has come here today, to say goodbye to OUR Marie.

Last updated June 11, 2014