That Part in Writing To Escape [Open Diary Entries]

How many of us have felt that overwhelming urge just to do something? Something so controversial by society's standards that they could be locked up in an instant for carrying out such an act?

The act of revenge, suicide, murder - some of the strongest impulses within human nature, why do we feel them?

We are wronged as people and the law cannot protect us, the guilty get away with it, so why is it wrong if they get their comeuppance?

The world is a better place without some people in it, rapists, child molesters, murderers but yet instead we lock these people up and do nothing with them except wine and dine them in 5 star prisons, why?

I won't lie I've wanted to fight and fuck my abusers, I've felt the overwhelming urge to touch them as they did me, I've wanted to feel their young in my arms and snap their necks so that seed could never develop again. I've felt what it actually means to 'hate' and 'despise' people.

I've often thought of the above and my hands will crack in anticipation of it, the part of me I named Uek some entries ago wants it. I want the chance to harm those who wronged me and I want the chance to end them, they don't know what it is I was going to become but they ruined that and turned me into what I am.

I have a natural urge for revenge but unfortunately I will never be granted such an opportunity because they bounce in and out of prison and now it is too late, but I have an unquenchable desire to bite them, does that make sense?

The urge to bite those who have wronged me and taste them? I just want to leave a scar upon them as they have me, but the scar I want to leave on them is something they will regret for the rest of their natural lives.

I have a part of me that needs to be released every now and then, the part that I hold back every day for everyone else, the part I hold back so it doesn't hurt the innocent but every few years I can no longer do so and I need people to move away...

I'll rock back and forth like I do now and hold myself tightly, it is that time again. I can't feel the chains anymore, the restrictions are gone, I know I'll finally get some release...

I hate everything. I still hate everything...I'll go for the lock up again.

Uek

Last updated June 12, 2014