if you can leave or kick him out but you don’t.
The second time it happens, you are a participant. You are an enabler. If your partner refuses to grow up, and he would rather spend his time playing online games than working at a full-time job, and you have the option of leaving or turfing him, you like playing martyr. You trade self-respect for sympathy. If you take the verbal abuse and threats but don’t end the relationship, you love playing victim.
This does not apply to women who don’t have the option to leave. My sympathy for THEM is real. I have a friend who finally got out. I know part of what she went through with a monster.
Last updated July 05, 2022