Wandering Away in These Foolish Things

  • May 14, 2022, 4:46 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

Well, I may have let The Wanderer just slip away. Per my previous entry, I’d set a date to have dinner with him tonight at one of my favorite places and then we were going to go for a walk in the charming neighborhood that surrounds this place and down to my favorite park. I was looking forward to sharing some stories of my time spent in that park and what certain landmarks and benches meant to me.


I’d forgotten that I’d already promised Maria that I’d go to a party with her tonight. It’s a small gathering hosted by a former work colleague and his wife and it’s actually kind of a good idea for me to go to this thing anyway for networking purposes.

When Maria sent me a text this morning asking me if I was still on for tonight, I gasped! I’d double booked and forgotten about this party! I was hoping Maria would let me out of it, but she told me that she didn’t want to go without me and she got special permission from the hosts to invite me and yada yada! Well, what could I do?

Bottom line is, Maria’s friendship is much more important than a second date with someone who’s likely never going to be even a semi-permanent player in my life.

So I messaged The Wanderer through the Tinder app and told him that I was very embarrassed, but that I’d promised my friend I’d attend an event with her at the same time and practically begged for his forgiveness and asked if he’d consider another evening next week. I truly felt pretty stupid that I’d done that - especially since my calendar is essentially wide open!

He wrote back simply, “No worries.”

I could tell he was annoyed (I know I am always peeved when a guy does this!), so I wrote back asking if I’d lost all credibility with him. Could we make a date for an evening next week?

He wrote back and simply said he’d be in touch.

So, we’ll likely just wander right back out of each other’s lives.

Onward, I suppose.

Complicated Disaster May 14, 2022

Oh poo! xx

Ginger Snap Complicated Disaster ⋅ May 14, 2022

Honestly, if I see him again, it's ok. If I don't see him again, it's ok.

Complicated Disaster Ginger Snap ⋅ May 14, 2022

Win - win then! xx

Perpetually Plump May 14, 2022

Well, that's his loss then. Sometimes, people make mistakes. I applaud you for making the right decision though and honoring your commitment to your friend over this guy.

Elaine Benes May 14, 2022

Ugh. This is what kind of sucks about all this. You made a perfectly normal mistake that any person who knows you would understand but when nobody really knows each other on these dumb apps it’s so hard not to read in to things. But I completely agree with your prioritizing Marie over this nomad. His loss if he can’t understand.

CharminglyNeurotic May 14, 2022

Just offer to take HIM to dinner next week and take care of everything. This way he'll know you weren't trying to blow him off.

Ginger Snap CharminglyNeurotic ⋅ May 14, 2022

Oh, that's actually a good idea.

plushcreep May 14, 2022

Ugh. It's too bad you couldn't have invited him to the party.

colder May 14, 2022

Meh, you have to know that occasionally things happen and people need to reschedule. A reasonable person will know and allow for that.

Actually, if I were on the other end of that message I'd think to myself, "she is probably being honest because she told me that she'd made an error and fully apologized. She could have told me a version of the story that was friendlier to her or just said 'sorry, something came up' or just ghosted me. This is not the conduct of someone who's lying."

Buuuuuuuut how a person handles life's little inconveniences gives us a little window to them.

Hope there's another meetup!

bobbi01 May 17, 2022

ugh, dating is too hard!

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