Change myself with tango. in psycho shit

Amy Winehouse. Heard it today. I see Bettys face when I listened to Winehouse voice, I think it is because you can feel the darkness when she sings.
It does not hurt any more when I think back. Not so much. Sometimes I think what my life would have been like if she gave birth to my child back in 2010.

Would we get back together if she had not jumped in front of the train in 2014?
I still loved her back then.
It was just clear to me when I got the call that she had commited suicide. The way I broke down and drank myself piss drunk at a posh bar downtown. Alone.
I saw her the last time in 2014, january, she had cut her hair. Betty said she was happy that I still played wow with her son.
She talked about deamons back then, and how she had started to write a book. Then I did not know that nothing she said was true, and she only lived in the real world sometimes.
Betty did know back in january that she was going to kill her self.

Went to a shrink three years ago because after Betty I can’t be with women any longer. The shrink was good, but I did not see her more then after that only meeting.

I know I need to change things.

The only thing I can come up with to start the process of change is to learn tango.
I think that sucks.

Last updated April 29, 2022