Getting the Hang of It in New Beginnings

Living on my own is awesome! I get to keep things the way I want. My bathroom is always clean. I can always use the sink because it's never piled up with someone else's dirty dishes. I don't even have to bother putting on clothes before I eat breakfast. Oops, if that was too much information, don't read the previous sentence.

It's so many little things I can do on my own that amaze me. For instance, I can actually make toast now. Johnny had one of those ridiculous, archaic toasters that hold the bread slices vertically. No! With that outdated model, you can't toast bread with the butter already on it so that it melts and is absorbed into the bread. You need a convection oven model to do that. Now, I can have the kind of toaster I want. You wouldn't think that would be an endorphin rush, but after having been denied for so long, it is!

I got my internet, phone, and TV set up Tuesday morning. I've almost finished getting all my furniture moved in; I'm waiting on a kitchen table to arrive sometime this week. Speaking of furniture, I'm basically an expert at assembling furniture now. I even bought a used washer dryer set of Craigslist for $150 ($240 if you include the cost of moving them). Sure beats, paying $1,000 for a brand new set.

Unfortunately, my dryer outlet is a three prong outlet, and my dryer has a four prong cord, so I'm having an electrician come tomorrow morning to install a new outlet. I tried to replace the outlet yesterday on my own, but an F-bomb inducing shock later, and I decided it's best to hire a professional. As of tomorrow evening, I'll be able to do my own laundry whenever I want! (what a lame thing to be excited about)

I'm still readjusting to living on my own, though. I'm amazed at how much self reliance I lost by having to live with others for the past five years. Hiccoughs come up, and I have to fix them because no one else will. For instance, I contacted an energy company for providing my power (gas and electricity). At least, I was under the impression that they provided both gas and electricity. The electricity stayed on for about 10 days after I closed. Until, one day, I returned to make some progress unpacking, and I didn't have any light. I had to find out who my electric company was and get an account set up. It wasn't anything complicated, but it wasn't anything that either of my parents or any class ever taught me.

Food is another issue. Five years ago when I was in my apartment, I was actually pretty good about cooking for myself. When I had to move back in with my dad, I didn't have any income, so I amazingly subsisted of bread, fruit, and hot pockets everyday...for two years. Incidentally, I don't care if I ever eat another hot pocket for the rest of my life. For the past two-and-a-half years of paid employment, I saved money by living in someone else's residence. For six month's, I lived in my dad's vacant house before he sold it, and for two years, I rented a room from Johnny. In both cases, saving money allowed me to get take out for dinner regularly. Cooking wasn't really an option. My dad's "vacant" house was only vacant in that no body lived there. All the stuff he had been hoarding and the repairs it needed didn't lend to being able to do much their besides sleep. Technically, I could have cooked at Johnny's, but he was always preparing his own meals in the kitchen. When he wasn't, his pots and pans were always dirty and waiting to be washed. It's not like I could do it regularly, and regularly is how often I'd need to do it to regain my sufficient cooking abilities.

Finally, I can cook for myself as soon as I figure out how to light the pilot light on the stove. Since I don't have any debt, I could easily afford to keep living off take-out, but I wasn't doing that the last time I was completely on my own. I can't let myself move backwards in terms of maturity.

I also have to figure out how to decorate. My walls are so bare, they kind of resemble an asylum. At least they're not white. I'm going to hang my diplomas and get my CPA certificate framed. I'm not sure what else I can do. Maybe I can find some paintings to hang up. I've looked at some canvas painting for sale on Amazon and Ebay, but I'm reluctant to buy such items when I can't see them in person beforehand. I'm very much lost in this topic. I desperately need someone to show me the ropes on this one.

I'm also amazed at how much happier I am. I didn't realize how miserable I was at Johnny's, living in that tiny cell of a bedroom. I can fall asleep quicker. It's infinitely easier to get out of bed in the morning. For the past five years, I thought I was no longer a morning person, but it's actually pretty easy to get out of bed in the morning when you don't hate where you live (even if you don't realize you hate where you live). Not only that, but I actually want to come home at the end of the day. Being at home actually feels like I'm recharging and distressing. How did I survive for the past two years without releasing my stress at the end of each day or on weekends? I'm surprised I haven't had an stroke.

It's glorious, but also a little paranoia inducing. I mean, I had so much forward momentum until my dad had his brain injury, and I had to put my life on hold to take care of him. I've finally got things back on track, so something bad has to happen, right? My dad has to have some other serious injury and need me to take care of him again, right? This happiness can't last for any meaningful amount of time, can it? That's not the pattern of my life. Whatever happens, I can't go back to living with someone else (unless it's a pretty girl who likes making out), not after finally regaining my independence.