Help me please! in Life Lessons
- March 10, 2022, 7:30 a.m.
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- Public
So I’m having some issues…
My best friend is getting married and wants me to plan and pay for her to have 2 bachelorette parties, 1 with her SIL’s and 1 overnight with me, her and another friend… that’s fine and dandy except she has completely shut me out… only ever hangs out with and talks to the other friend - she doesn’t tell me things, I hear it from the other friend.. whom I don’t much like anymore.. I’ve decided to tell them I won’t be able to do that they can go without me (I wouldn’t feel comfortable with just the 2 of them anyway) I’ve gotten past being sad and now I’m just mad and ready for it to be over with… it also complicated things because she is marrying my cousin and my “other friend” already married a different cousin..
My husband is irritated and thinks I’ve already done too much for her by planning an evening out for us + SILs… he says I need to tell them off and drop out of the wedding.. I couldn’t do that because that is just rude (the wedding is next week)
On the other hand my MIL and SIL treat me rudely, ignores me, won’t talk to me, tells my husband how I hate them… but my husbands advice with them is that I need to just get over it and he won’t say anything to them..
Am I wrong? Should I stand up for myself? Or should I just blow it off and let it all blow over? Please help me.. I am so confused and hurt..
Deleted user ⋅ March 10, 2022
And she wants YOU to plan and pay while she basically ignores you? Tell her to get stuffed! Dump her and any of the others who treat you like rubbish. They're really not worth wasting your time and energy on!
CountryGirl Deleted user ⋅ March 10, 2022
Yeah… I don’t want to be a jerk and back out of the wedding (because it is my family and it would make matters worse) but after it’s over I do plan on dumping them or at least telling them how I feel and see if they care to rebuild a friendship..
Jodie ⋅ March 10, 2022
I wouldn't be planning anything especially on your dime? I think if they want a party they need to pay for it why should you? And I am not sure that I would be going to the wedding either especially if you don't know who is vaccinated or not.
I think your husband is right.. just remind them of how they have treated you and leave it at that plus tell them what you have said here.
CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ March 10, 2022
My other friend has offered to help pay but I’m really bitter because of the way the bride is treating me..
Once it’s all over I plan on backing off for a while and maybe tell her how she treated me was uncalled for.. and see if she tries to make it up to me..
Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ March 11, 2022
Maybe have the kind of party where she would be totally embarrassed and everyone treated her the same as she treats you and maybe tell everyone to Bring their own food and drinks but no drugs or alcohol? that should learn her.
Deleted user ⋅ March 10, 2022
It seems there's a lot of intermarrying going on ... you're probably going to have to deal with all these people for awhile ... let it blow over ... unless you want it to become " a thing: and by how you describe these people it will... they already say you hate them... don't give them another thing to talk about ... I mean unless you like uncomfortable family gatherings or whatever else you'll be doing with these people in the future. Your husband won't speak up so you'd be going it alone... and from the info. you gave on them will just become "whatever your husband's name is" wife who doesn't get along and hates everyone ...
CountryGirl Deleted user ⋅ March 10, 2022
Exactly why I can’t just cut them off… it’s just miserable to deal with… I hope one day I can be a little bolder to at least stand up for myself.
Deleted user CountryGirl ⋅ March 11, 2022
I mean unless you have to deal with them on a daily basis it's do-able just prep yourself mentally and then after do something you like ... shopping ... eating a cake... whatever you're into
CountryGirl Deleted user ⋅ March 11, 2022
I do deal with them on a daily basis, I just don’t understand..
Deleted user CountryGirl ⋅ March 11, 2022
eat a lot of cake then
❤️vee ⋅ March 10, 2022
she wants you to plan and pay for events you're essentially shut out of? I'd decline and maybe not even show up to the actual event itself.
CountryGirl ❤️vee ⋅ March 10, 2022
Yeah… I don’t want to drop out completely because it is all my family (my cousin is the groom) so it would cause a riot… but after it’s over I do plan on distancing myself from her and maybe telling her how she treated me like trash, and see what she does from there..