So, now that football season is over, I am at a bigger loss than usual. Why?
TBH I am a very socially awkward inept person and I dont know much about a lot of things......I just clam up and usually just be quiet on a lot of topics such as music, movies, most tv shows, sex (Heck that is a big reason i’m asexual, I get very very uncomfortable when that topic gets brought up, and I just feel awkward and uncomfortable,
Basically TLDR There are -very- few things I am comfortable talking about, Video games, Board games, Cats, Some history and geography and a few books, but most importantly Sports, Namely American football, Everyone who knows me knows I love American football. I’ve always said you’d have to drop a small nuclear bomb on me to get me to stop watching the NFL (College is ok in a pinch but its not the same for me) and even then that might not be enough. (Which makes these scandals that are going on really painful cause I want my favorite thing to THRIVE not be stupid)
The season is over, and I lost a big emotional outlet (I’ll watch the draft and maybe the combine, and probably the USFL but not the same) and I lost a big thing to talk about and even watch on the weekend. And this is really digging into the void of my personality. This year has sucked already, with the incident.. and that is digging into me still. Its been a month. And I still haven’t fully gotten over. I know ive said this before, and maybe when I get a new kitty in a couple months… but while i’m not in a dark room crying and moping.. it still is empty.. not an hour goes by without thinking about my buddy. I know macaroni is still feeling it too, hes been cuddly and very vocal lately.
Basically TLDR.. football is over, (the game was okay) I lost an emotional outlet, the loss of my therapy kitty is really making it hard. I am kind of sinking into a hole. I’m just very much feeling like a void right now.
And also TBH I know i’ve said this but I’m never gonna get over that day. It was my worst fear.. and it still kind of haunts me. Its up there with kitty. I think worse.