My weekend.. in Life Lessons

So I’m back… we went and visited the in laws for the weekend, we surprised them this time so that was fun! Mostly the weekend was fine, we went and seen my FILs mom (she’s nice and likes us) my MIL was upset (she doesn’t like her) then started saying we needed to go see her dad (he isn’t nice to my husband, and comes to visit our neighbors and never comes to see us or even tell us they are in the area) but it was fine.. then the day we were leaving she pulled out this whole honey-do list for my husband to get done for her…. She also brought up grandkids again… ( insisting they will like her more than my husband and saying that they will have to show sheep in school cause she will make sure of it…) we also got to talking about our vacation next month and told her we mostly like to relax (not a minute by minute plan) and eat out… she informed me that she needs a plan and she doesn’t want to pay just sit in a house all day and she was worried about transporting groceries and I told her we will mostly eat out and she told me she hates eating out and would rather cook… (but when we are visiting them she complains about having to cook) how do I deal with this?! I’m annoyed that she tries to plan our unborn child’s life (we have no plans for children anytime soon) and I don’t know how to vacation with her… she’s a pill… they are driving 2 hours more to come to our house the day before so we can “travel together” so yay me… a whole week of quality time…. my SIL is also back and forth with her boyfriend (they live 12 hours apart, he planned to move close to her and she told him she didn’t want him to) he is going with us so that should make it better, but she informed me she might break up with him because he tells dad jokes and she don’t like them… how do I deal with these people?!? I’m going to lose my mind… and advice?

I see how my MIL is towards her MIL (hateful and rude, doesn’t want anything to do with her) and I see how it has affected my SILs relationship with her grandma, if we have kids I don’t want them to have a strained relationship just because MIL has a these feelings towards me… I feel like I am willing to change things but she isn’t.. it’s her way or no way… I have sources so I know how my MIL and SIL acts/talks about me behind my back and when I’m not around so it’s hard for me to just act happy around them…

It also doesn’t help that I don’t feel like my husband is 100% in my corner… he would rather just be in the middle - tries to push the blame on me because he wont to say anything to his mother about her behavior (he claims it will only make things worse..) if I try to distance myself from them it causes issues between me and my husband…

I really really need help… I just don’t know how to cope with them… does anyone have any tips?

I sent my MIL a really long message asking her opinions/questions about lots of things regarding our vacation and all she replied was “sounds good thanks”