Toxic in laws.. in Life Lessons
- Jan. 13, 2022, 11:43 a.m.
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- Public
Does anyone have tips on dealing with a toxic mother in law and sister in law?
My mother in law barely speaks to me, never checks on me if she heard I’m sick, always ignores me, and is always pestering me to give her a grand baby (she knows I have health problems that could get worse with birth, but says she don’t care as long as she gets a grand baby)… she always gets upset at me over stuff that’s not my fault (like if we can’t go visit them because I got sick)… she tells my husband all the time that I’m just faking all my health problems…
She acts like she can’t talk to me, she’ll text my husband and tell him that she wants me to make a dessert and bring to family holidays (but refuses to text and ask me)… she will ask me about things in our life and if I give her an answer she don’t like she will just ask my husband the same thing, while I’m sitting right there…
My sister in law is a complete pill (gets it from her mom 100%) she goes through phases, one week she wants to be my BFF, next she’s ignoring me and being snobby… she also is weirdly infatuated with my husband… tells me how she’s upset she couldn’t marry him, tells everyone how cute and sexy he is… which makes life super awkward… and she came up with a nickname that I hate.. and refuses to call me by my name.. so much that my mother in law has forgotten my real name on multiple occasions…
My father in law has no problems, he knows that they act this way but him and my husband both claim trying to fix it will only make matters worse…
It’s making me re think my decision on having kids (which I’ve really wanted my whole life) just because my MIL and SIL will be in their life…
My husband doesn’t want to say anything, says it will make it worse, but he also still makes me go visit them, and invites them to come here (which they hardly ever do) so idk what to do… I feel like if I tried to say something it would make things way worse… but I can’t live like this anymore…
Jodie ⋅ January 13, 2022
I would just not talk to them and when she texts your husband and asks for something done just say no. I would have nothing to do with either of them and if your husband wants a relationship then he can do it on his time and alone. And as far as kids go do what you want or else you can get a pet rocks and tell them that is your new baby.....I feel bad for you because there is a potential of a great relationship.
CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ January 13, 2022
We live 3 hours from them so really the only time I’m around them is when we go visit them (my husband and his dad are really close so I hate to be the one to ruin that relationship) my husband just wants to be neutral in the situation (my MIL has called him multiple times to tell him how he’s a horrible person and she hates him and wishes he wasn’t her son..) it just really bothers me because I want to have a good relationship with them..it’s like they just don’t want me to be apart of their family..
Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ January 13, 2022
The relationship between your husband and his dad has nothing to do with his mother. it's two different relationships. But maybe he should just explain to your FIL that for a while you don't want to be near her and you want to take care of you and your medical issues?
CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ January 13, 2022
Yeah I understand, but MIL and FIL live together (3 hours from us) so when my husband wants to hang out with his dad for the weekend - that leaves me stuck with his mother (cause FIL and husband are out running around or outside) my husband doesn’t want to do that, he thinks I’m making a bigger deal out of it than what it is and says I’m not trying to fix it, says I’m just trying to make it worse…
Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ January 13, 2022
I would still not go or talk to them until you can figure out a way to get through them and they actually listen.
CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ January 13, 2022
I wish I could.. I think if I tried my husband would literally drag me there.. I don’t think they will listen, they think they are perfect and don’t see a problem with themselves - they just think I’m the problem…
Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ January 13, 2022
Question> can you milk your medical issues? Like say I am not feeling good you go without me then you can get some "ME" time?
CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ January 13, 2022
I’ve kinda tried… it never works out that way… if I go there while sick I get worse and my husband sees that (MIL says I’m just hiding in the bedroom to avoid her) then she gets mad cause I want to go home (cause I’m sick and going there is worse)
Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ January 13, 2022
Too bad you can puke and make a mess then leave....But then I am different and wouldn't put up with that....
Telstar ⋅ January 13, 2022
Whoa baby.
Stay away from those people.
CountryGirl Telstar ⋅ January 13, 2022
Yeah… I wish I could… I just don’t want to ruin my husband and FILs relationship.. if FIL wasn’t in the picture we would definitely cut the other two off..