Babies, nicknames and in laws… in Life Lessons

So my relationship with my mother in law is not good - she ignores me, acts like I’m not around when we go visit, acts like I don’t know my husband, goes behind my back to talk to her about things that I already gave her an answer (she just didn’t like), literally forgot my babe and calls me by a nickname that I hate…. The list goes on and on but that’s not what this is about…

So first issue, (husbands family is very big on nicknames, I hate them) anyways when I first met my MIL and SIL my SIL decided she wanted to call me by a nickname…. Problem is I hate it… I hate nicknames altogether…. Now it’s to the point my MIL has forgot my name and now cans me by this horrid nickname… I need advice, do I tell them I hate it? Should my husband say something? Or do I have to just live like this?

Second issue, since before I meet my husband my MIL has told my husband to get her a grand baby… I have some health issues that she knows about that could cause more problems for me during pregnancy and she just tells me she basically doesn’t care as long as she gets a grand baby… but because of the horrible relationship with my MIL, I don’t want to have a child… because she will be apart of their life (making her around me more) it really gets under my skin… she tells me all the time how she wants a grand baby but when she is around other kids she just says how annoying they are… and she thinks it’s funny that my SIL says “If a baby cries it really annoys me so I would just put a pillow over their face until you can’t hear it anymore “ it is a big concern to me because I don’t agree with things she says about the way she parented and I feel like she will be a nightmare and try to “take” my child from me… what do I do?

Also another thing my in laws do, they make plans to come see us, so we alter our plans, buy groceries, change sheets to prepare for them then at the last minute they say oh we aren’t gonna come, we don’t want to be in the way… one of the times (fathers day) (husband and his dad are really close) we went and bought steaks and begged them to come but they said they didn’t want to be in the way… why do they do this? I don’t know what to do..

Also since my MIL is so rude to me I dread going to visit and tend to get in a bad mood…. It irritates my husband and makes him think it’s my fault that she doesn’t like me… but I just can’t help it because when we go visit I’m miserable because I get treated like trash… but he doesn’t see it…

I just don’t know how to handle these problems…. My husband doesn’t want to cause a problem with them by saying something… but should he? Should I? Or do I just have to deal with all of this my whole life?

Last updated December 23, 2021