What If I Wanted To Break? in Just Moments

~Wow where to begin...

~M and I are really no longer friends. I haven't spoken to him in over a week and to be honest I haven't really minded... In the end we are on different paths in life and they are so far away from each other that it doesn't even make sense to see each other. Part of me misses him, part of me doesn't. He was the best friend I never had and I needed him when he was in my life, but perhaps I just don't need him anymore as much as I used to, and perhaps he doesn't need me anymore. I don't know the real reasons, but I would like to think that this is the way things are supposed to work out. I honestly think that he is jealous that I still hang out with the guy that he is no longer friends with, but if that really is the case what good is M to me?? None. I don't deal with jealousy, that's just something he needs to get over and until he is able to do so, I have no use for him in my life.

~The real reason I think that I'm ok with M leaving my life is that I have found a new friend group. God knew that I needed some new people in my life and that's what he sent me. I mean I've known one of the guys for a while seeing as we work together but we didn't start getting close until the past month or so and now I hang out with him and his brother and girlfriend most days of the week. They are just a complete 180 flip from the people I was previously hanging out with. So weird. And honestly I fit in a lot better with this group. Weird how that works out. I didn't even know what I was missing. And now I have it. To be honest I don't know how long these friendships will last seeing as how I thought M and I would be friends for a long while, but I'm just going to be thankful for the people I have in my life right now and go with it. They make me happy and they honestly care about me. What more could I ask for in friends. It has been so long since I have had people like this in my life. Its refreshing, rejuvenating and awesome all wrapped up into one complete circuit. I don't really know how I was getting by without them before this. And I wouldn't change anything about them.

~In other news, there really isn't much. I'm feeling much better since my last entry. I've been working a ton but I've also had a few days off due to unused vacation days that I need to blow before I lose them. I have another day coming up so I'm ready for it especially since its supposed to be nice out!!

~One thing that I have really been thinking about though is fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it... I do believe that everything in life happens for a reason, those reasons being unknown most of the time, and I've been thinking about where my fate/destiny will take me in the coming days, weeks, months, years... I'm not that old and my life has already taken so many twists and turns and its just wow. Not what I expected. I'm alone a lot, but I'm also cared for. I have some really great friends, I've lost some people who I thought were friends, I've loved, I've been hurt, I've been broken... Well I still might be slightly broken, but I'm working on putting the pieces back together. I still get angry and upset with my fate/destiny at times, but overall I know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Do I always want to be here, no, but I'm doing the best I can in the circumstances that I have been dealt.