Taking you down. in Music You Couldn't Care Less About.

Speaking of the Kate era of my musical tastes, that was back when Slimcea Girl was my username and everyone was like, "What the fuck is that?"

I have no idea why I chose this as my theme song. Of all the songs.

Maybe because it's got a melancholy cheerfulness and I was reading Affluenza.

Maybe it was because I was 19, and I was like fuck the last 18 years of my life.

Only memories remain of the way she used to be.

I used to play it on repeat on the long drive to work with the windows rolled down.

Kate introduced me to Poe.

That was the summer I had to move back in with my parents because I didn't have anywhere else to go when the dorms closed for break and like three days into it my mom beat me with a hairbrush.

Because that's an appropriate reaction to your grown daughter asserting her opinion about something completely arbitrary that no one should ever care about. How dare she exercise her autonomy. Hold her down and hit her over and over again while hissing "this is why you annoy me" through clenched teeth like a crazy person. Way to be, mom.

And the worst part of the whole thing was crying in front of Kate at work later that day.

My mom going apeshit was just another Tuesday.

Sobbing uncontrollably in public while people looked uncomfortable was far more traumatic.

I was terrified of showing vulnerability. But having to move back in after finally getting away was just too much. Especially after being asked, "So how's your day?"

Poe made it a lot more bearable.

All those things that you taught me to fear I've got them in my garden now And your not welcome here

That summer I listened to a lot of music that made me feel like a badass and probably could have gotten me mistaken for a potential school shooter.

(Speaking of which, this was also around the time I started dating Steven and Kate was very disappointed in me. It didn't occur to me until much later that I thought abusive behavior was just how relationships work. Well yeah, he's a bipolar asshole who treats me like crap but I mean...isn't everyone like that? I've never met anyone who isn't! #hometown)

Anyway, I watched a lot of La Femme Nakita back then and it almost completely informed my taste in music.

I mean, have you seen this scene? It's like the coolest thing that ever happened on tv.

It's kind of impossible to listen to this song and not feel untouchable.