Maudlin Musings and Tradition Flash Archives in Normal entries

What is the deal with people? To paraphrase that song old blue eyes used to sing, you know when he was alive and whacking wise guys, “People, people who need people, they’re the peopliest people in the world, the keep pee pee peopling along” Oh sure, I can get more specific. Cryptic shit, people and cryptic shit. I was half as wondering why I’d been hearing sit coms and TV drama’s use the phrase “burying the lead” so often of late. Thought it was just one of those things, you know, a phrase is so retro or so profession specific it becomes funny just by its age or something. But I think it’s the sub conscious unity of script writers just reflecting the information age.

I accuse y’all, well some of y’all, you know who are, of being cryptic; you know because I’ve my own secret little message “Why are you being cryptic?” But OD is hardly the worst offender. For the most part OD is the opposite of cryptic. Face Book and, I assume, twitter, on the other hand … and for emphasis — and I’m this close to exclamation points followed by question marks.

I have my reasons to go into this, but I won’t. I’m not sure explaining how I don’t know what the fuck someone means but explaining the breadth and depth of my not understanding to the point where you agree, yep, I don’t know either, is sort of pointless. So I wrote a flash Friday flash, it’s silly and the purpose it serves is to maintain tradition

“You’ve got something in your teeth man”

“Really? You want it?”

“No. I’m just telling you. Some people think it’s good manners, a sign of respect or friendship to tell people the truth about things like that.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know, you’ve never heard that?”

“I guess. I’m not really ashamed of eating though.”

“I don’t think that’s what it’s about.”

“Oh.”

“It’s about… I don’t know, being honest and straight forward.”

“I suppose it is from your end. What is it from my end?”

“How would I know?”

“No, I mean what is it from the theoretical buddy with something in his teeth’s side.”

“Well, I suppose it’s so they don’t look foolish walking around saying things and doing things with something in their teeth.”

“So, vanity then.”

“If you want to a bitch about it, sure. You haven’t done anything about the shit in your teeth and I don’t care, but implying I’m vain by association is like you’re trying to piss me off. Sorry I mentioned it.”

“No, no, don’t be. Should I suck whatever it is out? Cover my mouth and pick at it? You have cigarette cellophane I could use.”

“I don’t care, do what you want, and no, I don’t have cellophane on my smokes.”

“Really? Why not?”

“Because as it stupid as it sounds for you to ask, I already used mine as floss.”

“Heh. You know the restaurant probably had toothpicks.”

“Yeah, they probably did. Probably those yummy butter mints too.”

“Do you love me?”

“Not right this minute I don’t.”

“Do you have and smoke in your flossless pack?”

“Yes.”

“Can I bum one?”

“If you suck the shit out of your teeth yes. It didn’t bother me before but now there’s a principle at stake.”

“Which principle.”

“The one about beggars and choosers and not being difficult. I don’t care if you have a cat tail stuck in your teeth, but grilling me about is annoying.”

“So, I can have a smoke if I shut the hell up.”

“Yes.”

“Then will you loveme?”

“Guess we won’t know until you try

shutting the hell up.”

“Ok. Got a light? Hey, see that guy over there by the fountain? He’s shut the hell up, do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“You’re like a silence slut.”

“You’re addicted to the sound of your own voice.”

“Seriously? Camel straights?”

“It’s a deterrent to having people bum smokes off me.”

“I suppose, but the cellophane floss is like half size.”

“I have small teeth.”

“Yeah, but you got a lot of them.”

“Do you have an ETA on when you might be shutting up?”

“There’s been a delay.”

“I might go over to the fountain and sit with the guy who’s actively shutting up.”

“Really? What if he’s got something in his teeth?”

“I’m hoping I won’t see his teeth. It’s like a perfect love as long as his mouth is shut.”

“Ok, I’ll just talk to myself, but it’s been bothering me lately. I like stop halfway through saying something and don’t finish. What am I supposed to do, read my own mind? How the hell do I know what I was going to say?”

“LA la la la la la la la I can’t hear you.”