My sexual flower blooms in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!

my sexual flower blooms - 8/17/2005

        Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Edna jumped in and saved him. When the hospital director found out he immediately ordered that Edna be discharged because he now considered Edna mentally stable. The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are being discharged for saving Jim. Your actions displayed sound-mindedness and mental stability. The bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. Sadly, he is dead." Edna shook her head. "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

I had to share this joke with you guys.  It's from a favourite OD'er friend of mine that he sent me in an email.  I'll keep his identity quiet until I get permission from him to use it.  But he's awesome, he may even note this entry.

Well straight (feels weird using that word cos i'm so not lol) into it I guess.  I just finished watching my first ever gay porn movie.  It was what I expected it to be.  Not much acting at all except the dialogue "suck that cock", "you like that, don't ya" "uh! uh!" and "Bang my ass" come to mind.  The guys that were in it are SO my type though (really hot twinks - legal of course) - I guess I chose a good one.  Now don't think badly of me cos I watched a gay porn.  I mean you have the right to if you want to, but I'm 21, single, and I went shopping with my straight friend who's up visiting me at the moment, and I picked it up at the adult store.  He even offered to watch it with me, he reckons he can get off on anything.  Haha probably can.  Not a real attractive guy though and I don't think I'd want to see him jacking off - more a privacy thing (the film is) for me I think.  I wonder what Luke's gunna think when he finds out I've got a gay porn film.  My mate said not to worry bout what he thinks.  He's right, I shouldn't, but I felt so weird buying it ya know.  Luke'll find out by reading this anyhow cos he can't stand not knowing everything hehe.  But I figured if I was ever gunna get one, now was the time.  It was actually pretty good - really full on, which was awesome.  I just don't wanna get addicted to porn like my mate is hehe.  I doubt I would, I get the feeling this'll be the only one I ever own.  But who knows.  Guess I'm coming out of my sexual shell more these days.  My mate says people are so scared of sex these days - what's to be afraid of?  If you speak openly about it and don't get carried away with it, you've got no worries.  I think being mature about it, is the words I'm looking for.  Haha, mature, and here's me looking at porn.  Contradiction?  Oh well, it's strange, I'm not ashamed I have it, so I guess I'm mature about having it I figure.  It's for my own personal viewing pleasure.  Gosh how God must be shaking his head at me now lol.  I really wanna go to Sunday Night Live next weekend, as I haven't been to that church in ages.  It always feels good to go fill up the faith tank, and ignore all the bullshitting hypocrital Christians.  Especially if Lauren's there and she says anything to me - God I'll go off, she was dancing at the gay club saturday night!   Now that made me angry.  How she can tell me off for being gay and I should be straight and all this crap I've dealt with for years already, and then see her dancing in a gay club I happened to be in.  Of course we hugged and everything, me being hyper, but I still knew deep-down she was a hypocrit.  What, she didn't know it was a gay club?  What, the two guys making out next to her was a normal thing for a dance club?  I dunno, I tell ya lol.  And what I was wearing was so gay, but I explained that in the previous entry.  All I needed was the rainbow feather boa :)  Hehe, I love being gay, i love being me, I love knowing that God loves me and that other Christians are jealous cos they are hypocritical goodie two shoes.  Sorry I don't hate Christians, I am one.  Sure I don't go to church much these days, but really, can you blame me?  And I wish Luke would stop walking around here shirtless, so unfair. :)  Have a great day guys.

Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------

Twinks. Gay porn. Gay twink porn. Matt... sigh welcome to mein world.

Lol. I'm not obsessed with porn or anything, if that's what you think. But, uh... congratulations, mate. Woohoo!

RYN: Hehe. It's pretty simple, our national anthem. Not very long. It is just so beautiful. And you are, like, the sweetest cutest thing ever for those words of yours. And for being so you. Sigh. hugs [Ness Macabre] 8/16/2005 12:46:33 PM

But nn, I dunno. I'm not all that smart. And as for being bilingual and more (=P), well, it's pretty natural this side of the, um, world, hehe. Because we have sooooo many languages in just one country, and I'm from, like, everywhere, I've sorta gathered enough words and grammar to be able to talk.

Australia rules. Australians rule. You rule. kiss on cheek [Ness Macabre] 8/16/2005 12:49:37 PM

RYN: I added you to my faves.. Glad you still want to read me :)

About the porn; it's nothing to be ashamed of. I watch/look at porn quite a bit and people look at me weirdly cos I'm a girl.. as if it's not right for girls to be looking at such things. But hey, if it turns you on, it can't be a bad thing ^__^ Grin [~Wildchief~] 8/16/2005 12:50:57 PM

Good lord, what's wrong with porn? Did you read my entry on porn? Dude, you are so totally not being bad at all - watch porn! Watch lots of porn! All the time! It's good for you, it'll release some tension and make you a happier person! :)

[shim] 8/16/2005 1:11:21 PM

OMG I love hot gay porn!! Always gives me a throbbing hard on. I'm really big into watching those hot studs blow their loads. Now look at who is being bad! LOL

Love ya Matt,

Ben [Taste The Rain Bow] 8/16/2005 1:36:58 PM

Don't you dare worry about what people think of you. You watched gay porn and you liked it ... big deal. Congratualtions on taking one more step further out of your shell.

And btw, I find girl on girl porn more hot that guy on girl porn. Not that I watch it often or anything ... but when I do, that's my film of choice. [Orange Blossom] 8/16/2005 2:17:43 PM

porn is wonderful!!

I heart it.

hehehe [fries] 8/16/2005 3:06:15 PM

Thanks for the encouraging note I know I need to do it...I am just lacking the stength right now. :s Mwah...Thanks again. ^_^ hugs [Akourah Lilly] 8/16/2005 4:54:56 PM

mmmm. poooorny.

i've never seen a full lenght feature gay porn feature film before, i guess i have some shell to crack still, hehe [penfifteen] 8/16/2005 4:57:06 PM

I like this entry. Positive positive positive. You're my new best friend... [LoneStarLostBoy] 8/16/2005 5:09:23 PM

Hey if you wanna buy porn that's your choice. Shit don't be ashamed own it.. love it ...watch it.

You might be blossoming ahhh yes I think so. [VIRGIN GIRL] 8/16/2005 6:00:59 PM

LOL some of my extremely gay friends say "always forward, never straight...." so, forward into it, then? LOL when giving directions, i've picked it up... "go forward through the step sign..." etc. [HotGayBoy80] 8/16/2005 6:14:52 PM

I cant comment on porn. Because I dont watch it lol. never have ahahaha. [Akourah Lilly] 8/16/2005 6:55:54 PM

dude, u never watched porn before? not even online? wow. if u want good online porn, corbinfisher.com is the place to go. for real. [EternallyHopeful] 8/16/2005 7:01:35 PM

I find it hard to believe that some people can be so cruel about religion and gay. Lots of people ask me why i go to church because i am gay. Sometimes i wonder why they go to chruch... to judge? [Archer_Mage] 8/16/2005 7:13:29 PM

hey...I'm a Christian, but that doesnt mean that I knock gay people. Most of my friends are gay...I am in theatre. Not that the stereotype is always correct. I would say, always be proud of who you are and never change because of what someone thinks of you. Thats not how anyone should be. :) Embrace who you are and others will too.

RYN: oh yes...my dad's a real peach! (sarcastic). see ya!

[SinginStephie] 8/16/2005 7:19:32 PM

oh god, i hope i never live with an ex after they're an ex . . . it'd be too painful! gay porns suck. i watch them to jerk off and stop . . . one day i'm going to direct a GOOD gay porn. wait . . . that's queer as folk! ;-)

[Prince Zidane] [p] 8/16/2005 7:41:38 PM

LOL, my roommate has a gay porn. It's called 'The Hole' and is suppossed to be a spoof on "The Ring". LOl, I don't know...I guess what ever gets you off or can at least help is a good thing. Take care mate! [C-Dub85] 8/16/2005 9:37:37 PM

erm...I don't like twinks...I like manly men.... [AndyFishy] 8/17/2005 1:07:30 AM

...and I have to agree with EternallyHopeful...but I download my porn from Ares (don't tell anyone; it's a P2P!) [AndyFishy] 8/17/2005 1:09:29 AM

hugs you always know what to say. how? how? [Ness Macabre] [p] 8/17/2005 1:44:16 AM

Matt R.'s a different one... Not the one we all hear about.

-James [Beez] 8/17/2005 2:47:49 AM

Honey, if your friend offered to watch that video with you, three words: Not totally straight! I probably have 20 or 30 porns tapes in the house. Sometimes I watch them because some of them are hot and I like a little hottness in the morning before work.

Know what you mean about church, its a feel good thing. I love reading you, wish I was 21 again. sighs :) Have a great day! [pizzaguy184] 8/17/2005 2:49:42 AM

RYN: yeah thanks. hugs I found it hard to tell Laiten and I trust laiten sooo much...had to try and refrain myself from vomiting in his car. :s and I swore that I wasnt going to tell Luke over text or a phone call...but in person, cause through text and that its just the easy way out and I will lose all the repect I have for myself and he will lose respect for me too. But i dont know what to -- [Akourah Lilly] 8/17/2005 6:12:21 AM

-- do...I mean he keeps asking and I don't know whether I should tell him or leave it..I mean he is hanging in the balance which isn't nice...Gah soo confused. *hugs again. thanks. [Akourah Lilly] 8/17/2005 6:13:00 AM

Hey. i been heaps into sex lately i think its cos i got a bf but whatever. i love porn lol, me and my friends always watch it hehehe

much love [miss_barbie] 8/17/2005 6:15:36 AM

gay porn and church in the one entry... not something u see very often hahaha

;) [rachface] 8/17/2005 9:16:32 AM

lol rach stole what i was gonna write! gay porn and church, great combo in an entry! lol.

RYN: PYT are some group I found randomly, lol, there not too bad, but not the best either. lol, I just like the lyrics to that song [SinderellaX] 8/17/2005 10:18:10 AM

RYN: ohh shut up you know what i meant lol [SeNtInAlLoVe] 8/17/2005 2:11:17 PM

ok..

I want a picture of you...

hottness..

oh can I send you a snail mail letter?

I have never sent anyone a letter in Australia!

PLEASE!

:)

narf.

Ill send you a package~

(not a dirty package... well maybe a little dirty... )

hehe [fries] [p] 8/17/2005 3:31:15 PM

Hi Matty it's me Jeffy! Geez say porn and look how many people respond. That's one thing I've never done. Reminds me too much of Brandon who thought he WAS a porn star. Wishful thinking believe me. As for Lukey walking around shirtless all the time? You poor thing you. :-P Feel free to share. :-) Just kidding Luke if you read this. :-)

Love/Hugs from Jeffy!Glad you like the joke. Funny crazy joke [mobyduck] 8/17/2005 7:07:50 PM

Being gay is fabulous let me tell ya.

Damn christians. [Mr. Dito.] 8/17/2005 9:23:07 PM

Congrats! I remember my first porn...lol. They are a nice retreat sometimes.

Huggs!!!

[GardenBoi] 8/18/2005 12:35:03 AM

Hey buddy.I have quiet a few of those hippocrital people around me,they drive me crazy!Anyway hope you have a good day, glad you enjoyed your movie! I think I would have also from the sound of it! :)

-JJ [shrektrek] 8/18/2005 7:34:09 AM

hey there, i enjoyed this entry. and i'm glad you're not ashamed of the porn, because you have a very mature attitude about it. cool. oh, and please feel free to describe any other videos you might come across... (tee hee!) yum.

[easy, happy, endings] 8/18/2005 11:42:01 AM

I've never visited a gay club. I want 2 so badly though. Lauren has some serious issues if she's throwing stuff @ u 4 being gay when she was @ a gay club. Hey, maybe she's gay and she's hiding it and takes her anger out on u. I used to go to churfch as well but I hated the way they would talk about gays and how God hates us and blahblahblah. That's why I haven't been in a couple months. [The Male Poet] 8/18/2005 11:49:02 AM

RYN: EXACTLY! Omg, you hit the nail right on the head, if that's the expression I'm searching for.

"Your intelligence puts me to shame." Why, WHY must you make me blush everytime you leave a note? I mean, God, you have to be one of the most nicest, most sensitive, caring guys I know. And smart, too. Why, why?

[Ness Macabre] 8/18/2005 12:52:27 PM

Thank you for the kind words. It took me 20 mins to write those few words for my note to Aaron. Have a great weekend! Toodles! [3daygomer] 8/18/2005 9:21:28 PM

Last updated May 13, 2014