And I would walk 500 miles... in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!

and I would walk 500 miles... - 6/30/2005

 The world was stunned by the news, this morning, of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old.

Authorities believe that the death occurred at approximately 8:42PM last evening.

Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going and going and going, "Pinkie" as he was known to his friends and relatives, was alone at the time of his death.

An autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief medical Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation.

Apparently, someone had put Mr.Bunny's batteries in backwards, and he kept coming, and coming and coming.....

I don't really have much to say today.  I was in bed with Luke and we were making out pretty heavily as we do, when he sucked so hard on my bottom lip that it really hurt me.  I blurted out an "OW!" and he looked at me weird, got off me, got up and turned off the hallway light, got back into bed, rolled over and wouldn't talk to me.  I was like, "What just happened?" He wouldn't budge, just said he was going to sleep.  I said, 'no you're not," cos I wanted to know what the hell I did wrong.  All I did was say 'Ow!'.  Eventaully he grumpily told me that I shouldn't have said it so harshly and apparently I gave him the 'most horrible look'.  Nice for him to tell me that cos I certainly didn't realise I was giving him a look.  If there was any look it was probably sheer pain cos I thought my lip was gunna bleed. I have soft lips I guess.  So I guess that's why I'm up at like 3am in the morning writing this.  He was pissed at me and I was pissed at him for being so immature about it all.  I'm sure I'll be over it by tomorrow morning once I get some sleep.  I think it also initiated because we talked a bit more about him moving to Toowoomba.  I said that I felt like I bascially don't have a choice, because if I don't move to Toowoomba wiht him, then our relationship isn't going to work, cos Luke mentioned previously that he's never had much luck with long-distance relationships in the past.  Luke said to me that this was a different situation - with the other guys, he started going out with them, then realised they were fuckwits lol.  Luke then said to me that his only concern was that the only real reason I would be moving to Toowoomba would be for him.  And I was silent for a bit cos it's absolutely true.  I then replied to him through a few tears, "Well you gotta make sacrifices in a relationship."  He said, 'Yeah, but not THAT big." Makes me wonder whether he really wants me to you know?  Then again I don't really want to.  He's right when he says I'd be doing it only for him.  I would purely give up everything here for him if he wanted me to.  But Luke's too nice for that.  He doesnt want me to do that.  So I guess after that small conversation and our little fight over my caining lip, I'm paranoid about us not working long-distance.  I mean I know I would go and see him every single weekend I'd have off work, but I know he'd be busy with uni, and I didn't want to disturb him.  I told him that and that I'm afraid of us falling into a routine of hardly seeing each other and us just getting sick of the situation, therefore crashing and burning.  Makes me wonder whether we should just try being friends now, or actually try to make this work.  Gosh, start breaking out the Shania Twain and Celine Dion soppy music.... :) I'll be okay after a sleep I'm sure - I'll worry about this in about 5-6 months...

My diary is fav's only from now on - if you'd like to be added leave a note here. Thanks!

Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------

first note. awww . . . luckily, my baby's never been like that. he's always been sooo gentle . . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh he's wonderful.

but i'm not in love and i sleep with other men and women. and he's in love with me. i'm horrible, aren't i. [Prince Zidane] [p] 6/30/2005 1:29:28 PM

oh my!! sordid details!! LOL

first note!!

love the energizer bunny one. that rocks!!! [HotGayBoy80] 6/30/2005 1:29:57 PM

I dont want to sound mean so please dont hate me for what i think. Dont go. I am sure you have dreams (besides Luke) and if you spend all your time and energy making Luke happy, your going to end up a sad, lonely old man who spends his time in the YMCA locker rooms watching guys undress for a sexual pleasure! So once side you got your future and the otherside you got Luke. What will it be? [Archer_Mage] 6/30/2005 1:35:23 PM

just look him in the eyes and ask: "do you want me to come with you? in your heart, do you want what we have right now to continue in a different city?"

good luck [J HENRY] [p] 6/30/2005 1:36:07 PM

ryn: LMAO!

speaking of notes, did i mention i have almost 100 on my man of the month entry?? i'm really hoping a few more voters will come through and make it so!!!! [HotGayBoy80] 6/30/2005 1:39:00 PM

Go to him, sweetie, if you really think it would be worth it. My hubby moved to Texas from California for me. Maybe you should drop My Mikey a letter...he knows who you are...maybe he could help you work this out.

Love and smiles,

Jack (and Mikey)

Mikey's e-mail : onelollyboimikey@aol.com [mikeysjack] 6/30/2005 1:39:23 PM

aww:(

i had a spat like that once. then i realized HE was a fu(kwit [mindcrime] 6/30/2005 1:41:52 PM

please privatize notes of a sexual nature . . . i'm not out of the closet. people who think i'm straight read this. shhhhhh. ;-)

[Prince Zidane] [p] 6/30/2005 1:42:28 PM

Random Noter~Dont know what to say about ur situation...I'd tell u 2 follow ur heart, but i know just how easy it could turn sour. Maybe try a trial separation? he moves away, u stay...if either of u cant handle it, then move? hmm

I love the song that you named this entry after! and i would walk 500 more... lol

Might add u to my favourites, if you don't mind - u have an interesting diary [jessicah] 6/30/2005 1:44:41 PM

Thanks for the note, it made me smile a lot! Just feel so unappreciated sometimes you know? Since I try so bloody hard for my friends. I think it's cool how you're so proud of being gay, I'm bisexual or just plain confused, not sure really lol. The reaction's I got when I told my friends I'd kissed a guy was pretty insane. I hope all works out with Luke, I'm sure it was just a silly fight!

R. [Symphonus] [p] 6/30/2005 2:14:36 PM

Hmm. I'm wondering if Luke is looking for an excuse. Like this is a test or something. It's almost as if he is waiting for you to make the first move so his theory of "long distance relationships don't work" is true or not. If you say, "no, i'm not going" then he'll be able to see "told you so". But if you go, you're not necessarily going to be happy. =( I don't like this one bit. Hmm. [Orange Blossom] 6/30/2005 2:22:44 PM

Start making a Pro and Con list of all the benefits and drawbacks about going to Toowoomba. First negative being Funnel Web Spiders. Huge reason why not to go.

But in all seriousness, you and Luke need to sit down together and talk it out and not be all "oh I don't want to show emotion or be mature because I like to keep secrets" and stuff. [Orange Blossom] 6/30/2005 2:26:48 PM

And also, there have been many times I've been sucking a little too hard on lips or other things and I've gotten the "ow" response from Andrew. It's never been reason to get up and pout though. UM HELLO. It happens. I usually laugh and smile because I realize I'm getting agressive and ready to go. But maybe that's just me. Huh. Hm. [Orange Blossom] 6/30/2005 2:27:51 PM

soft lips. hmm. i'm not sure how i feel about that. i like soft. but firm. they're not mushy, are they? ;-) [Prince Zidane] [p] 6/30/2005 3:07:07 PM

There are more pics if ya want a gander, Oh and men srink sometimes. He coulda let you know what's up without being rude and turning over. But oh well. [Xi'a] 6/30/2005 3:32:06 PM

love will win over everything. it may sound stupid, but i believe it. If it is meant to work then it will =)

Hel xox [Indigo Sky] 6/30/2005 3:41:55 PM

You know I love gay guys they are like really sexy but I was just thinking I think two girls are gross. Donno why, Wierdo eh? Have a great one love. [Xi'a] 6/30/2005 3:42:09 PM

Thats a hard situation, hes probably feeling the same way you are , just full of confusion with what to do about it. Hopefully you guys figure it out so you can stay together

Bye [MplsGayboy1985] 6/30/2005 4:09:47 PM

Yeah, why worry about something that doesn't exist? He's here right Now, right were you want him to be, so live in this moment that is actual, and go from there. That's an awkward situation, eh? Well, my best bet would be for you two to communicate honestly with eachother about the situation.....and laugh about it! Joke and frolic about it! hehe....it is a bit funny. Kisses

Cy. [2ofUs] 6/30/2005 6:00:51 PM

Hey Matt just try to take one day at a time. I know in my heart that you love Luke. Love is a powerful force. And don't worry about the spat you had over your lip. I remember one time when Brian bit my nipple and it hurt like hell. At first I thought he did it on purpose but he didn't. Man it will all work out.

Love you guys,

Ben [Taste The Rain Bow] 6/30/2005 7:24:08 PM

Hey Matt. Ugh - I guess I don't have much experience with successful long distance relationships, but still... you know how I am - I definitely have no trouble falling for aussie guys, then I go home and it becomes long-distance. And moving from Brisbane to Toowoomba would be nothing compared to moving from Seattle to Melbourne, distance-wise. Not that Noel's the only reason I would, 6/30/2005 7:56:15 PM

I have heaps of friends there and I love the city itself and the way I felt while I was there, but he's certainly one of the biggest reasons I would move there. :p Hope you get this figured out. If I can make a USA-AUS relationship work, you can certainly make a relationship between two blokes in different parts of the same state work ♥♥♥♥♥

~Tiffany~ 6/30/2005 7:58:53 PM

oh and did I mention I love your country, and would like to move to Oz, and just picking Melbourne for where I'll live because I know the city best? that's irrelevant, i know, just I don't see Kez's note on here yet and I know she'll comment to or about me on this subject if I don't say it myself. O:-)

~Tiffany~ 6/30/2005 8:00:58 PM

awwwww thanks for the note, I guess your right.. Eekkk lip biting how kinkish!! anyhow I hope all will work out for you and Luke. I know it can be way hard nothing being in the same town and all but there is always weekends and fone sex to hold ya over ... Huggs Mermz

[Mermy] 6/30/2005 8:49:43 PM

Okay I was in a relationship like that where the guy always got upset about the smallest things happening.....I loved him but he tried to control my life and with his pissed off moods and him blowing up at everything small....I dumped his ass and have been single ever since...men are pigs...I am a man...but its true....very few of us are the exception...sounds like your bf needs to lighten up. [Delta Dayne] 7/1/2005 2:39:34 AM

I feel for your boy Luke. I am in much the same predicament. My boyfriend Mark wants to move 1000 miles away from where he currently calls "home" and transfer colleges just to be with me.

It feels like too much, like I am taking his life away. It places an immense amount of guilt on my shoulders as well as a great pressure to ensure that the relationship works out. It's hard to accept.

XxX [OnSecondThought] 7/1/2005 3:20:59 AM

crikey, you have THAT many notes on this entry! (i'll leave you a private one just to even things up a bit:P)

it sounds like you're at crossroads...whatever you do is YOUR call remember. Just make sure you do it for urself as well as 4 luke if the move does happen, because otherwise u'll resent him for it at some point...

whats wrong with shania twain???:P [dysfunctional_faerie] [p] 7/1/2005 3:22:38 AM

Matt, if you feel like talking let me know and I'll call (yeah, I noticed)

hugs from Jeffy [mobyduck] 7/9/2005 8:56:16 PM

I jsut saw your diary for the first time and you sound so cool, would you mind adding me? [MonkeyBoy179sAngel] 7/9/2005 10:48:49 PM

Hey, thanks for the note :) Your words really helped, and got me thinking. It's heart warming to know that someone i've never met can offer helpful words like that. Hope you're sorting things out... :)

Take care :)

P.S. would you mind if I added you as a favourite? [Sole Doubt] 7/10/2005 9:44:17 AM

hey... I just found you because of Bens diary. Thought I'd check yours out. I hate when my boyfriend gets mad at me and I have no idea why. I always have "a look" according to him. I think its bogus.

Anyhoo... have a good one. [bittersweetme] 7/10/2005 8:25:17 PM

Hey, I found your diary through my friend James (txstatebobcat) site. You are a great writer and person, and I would really like to be able to continue to read your entries. If you could add me to your favs. that would be great. Thanks and take care! [C-Dub85] 7/11/2005 10:49:44 AM

I added you now :) [bittersweetme] 7/11/2005 8:16:45 PM

i hope things work out for you and luke.

i wanna be one of ur faves! Love boo! [KatieKatherine411] 7/13/2005 12:50:51 AM

Oh shit I've been wondering why you haven't written for ages and I just realised that you're on favourites only now, I'm obviously not on it. Can you add me please? You don't have to if you don't want to...I just like reading your diary. [frangipani] 7/13/2005 10:09:56 AM

Stumbled upon your diary its pretty cool. Note sometimes.

Take care!! [VIRGIN GIRL] 7/16/2005 8:03:20 PM

My ex-boyfriend still wants to move up here to be with me. And I feel the same way that you do. He'd only be doing it for ME and if we didn't work out, it'd be a horrible sacrifice to make. Especially when we lead separate lives. I'm sorry that you and Luke are on the outs. hugz [Silent Teardrops] 7/22/2005 12:23:12 PM

That sounds like a difficult situation...I'm sorry that I can't offer you any real advice. I hope that it works out. Do you mind if I add you to my favorites? I really like your diary. Please note me some time [broken.wings.] 8/17/2005 9:12:07 PM

Last updated May 11, 2014