Perception is an interesting thing. Your world literally is what YOU see it to be. Hey, it’s hard to admit but I’ve been wrong so many times. How often am I oblivious, but wrong AF about something that I get emotional about? I feel that we cause ourselves unnecessary pain by adding our own narrative. Assuming has made an ass out of me. I don’t know about you but…
I can say that for the times I do know about. When I think of the many times my mind has tried to give purpose to the slightest things and then held to those transgressions, spanning a lifetime of thinking something that you’ve no real way of knowing.
For me, a lot of that is social. There’s no way of knowing what everyone really thinks or why they think it. I think we lack communication skills or the ones we have aren’t very effective. We lack skills in dealing with ourselves too. Balancing the internal and external parts of being a person is obviously not easy. Our species is pretty amazing at acting though, some even win awards for it.
I have a hard time figuring what is real, when it comes to other people. I’ve been trying to stop making my own story up about why they did or said something, an underlying meaning what they must think etc. Sometimes I might have valid reasons to believe something, I think I’m good at picking up on the vibe someone is putting off. But that thinking is what keeps us stuck and wrong. I think we should either seek the truth of what we’re dealing with (which can be subjective) or let it go.
Trying to see someone’s perspective only works when you’re asking that person what their perspective is. You can’t insert your own idea of their perspective to try to understand them. Perhaps they have their own hang up that has nothing to really do with you at all but is a product of their own perception. They may or may not ever make that clear to you.
I suppose what I want to do is learn to let all things flow through my life and be what they are. I think I can let go a lot of hurt by doing that. The way you view and react to your world is ultimately your self created reality. It can be changed into whatever kind of place you want it to be, just by what you do internally with what already exists.
–Okay well that’s out of my system. I’ve been really trying to ponder some of this to understand what I’m feeling.
I worked on my singing yesterday, lots of deep breathing. I think it’s truly therapy. I’m a little stuck on writing this song though. I’m at 2 nice full verses but a weak ass start to a chorus. I cannot write with other people around. I don’t know if that’s something I need to work on or if I need to accept that it’s part of my writing process.
Getting back on that today. I have so many little projects I’m into right now but finishing up that song will be SO cool! We’ve booked 2 gigs in the past week but they’re a month out. I really need to be getting any new material wrapped up. I want to start doing a full set run throughout the week, long practices on the weekends and get everything tight before August.
Geez I could just talk all day but its all calling for me to get started working on it…