My sister in law the (insert word here) in Life Lessons

  • July 5, 2021, 12:11 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

So I know this shouldn’t bother me but something about me is I want everyone to get along with me, I don’t want to have problems with anyone, especially my family.
I’ve had lots of problems with my mother in law and sister in law - they are super rude to me and unwelcoming…
Anyway my sister in law has now recently been going around telling everyone that they (her and her parents) doing talk to us anymore and that we don’t want to be apart of their family anymore (which is a lie) all because we don’t spend every holiday with them and we don’t drive 3 hours on a weekday to see them on their birthday.
I am at a complete loss - honestly I’m fine not associating with them but I feel bad for my husband because him and his dad are close… I just don’t know how to bring up the conversation of what they hate me so much.
They both like to cry a lot to get their way and it’s annoying.
I’m at a loss as to if I should bring it up or act as if nothing is wrong? How do I be around them when I know they say bad things behind my back? What do I even say? How do I bring it up?

Telstar July 05, 2021

Been down this road myself.

Inlaws are strange, in that you're thrown together as relatives just because you married your spouse. Treat them civilly, but don't pay much attention to them otherwise. It doesn't matter because whatever you do isn't going to suit them anyway.

Let your spouse take the lead with them. He already knows them much better than you ever will.

CountryGirl Telstar ⋅ July 05, 2021

It is a hard thing to adjust to… I try to be civil and they just turn away from me and ignore me…
He’s trying to help but they just don’t care. They’ve always been snotty to everyone.

Telstar CountryGirl ⋅ July 06, 2021

Maybe you have to likewise turn away from them. Some situations aren't fixable. There's a thing in my family where cousins haven't spoken to each other for many years due to a mixup involving people who no longer live.

The two factions don't live in the same area so it's not too noticeable and is not an ongoing feud. It's just ignoring each other. We're all getting old so it's not likely that it will ever be fixed.

Don't beat yourself up over something that you can't change. Life goes on.

Jodie July 05, 2021

I would be totally honest with your husband and make sure that this has nothing to do with him and if he still wants to see both sides of the family then you will support him but you might not want to go to your mother in laws or sister in laws but there is the rest of the family.

I think people should get along and pretend to tolerate one another it just makes life easier.

CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ July 05, 2021

I have been very open about it it’s hard for him to go and not me because they live 3 hours away… I mean it’s not like I’m asking to be their best friend I just want to be treated with respect…

Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ July 05, 2021

Is there a way he can talk to them and maybe tell them to respect you while he is there with you? I think it's horrible to have a relationship like that.

CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ July 05, 2021

He has tried to talk to them, but they are snotty to everyone not just me and when he talks to them they try to blame it on me…
It has been very awful and stressful..

Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ July 05, 2021

I wish there was a way where everyone just got a long and pretended everything was perfect...maybe one day this will happen.

CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ July 06, 2021

Me too… I sure hope so.

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