So I was perusing Pinterest while waiting for the kids to pass out last night (omg let's talk about Gavin's awful sleeping later), and stumbled on this. It was entitled something like, "things you learn in your 20s".

![alt text] (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/spiffy_baby/91d8601338eebbc665d1214f45ad0736.jpg)

6 though, man, it's funny because it's true. Across the board, inevitably every single one of us would probably benefit from therapy. And it's not because we're screwed up (although I'd fare a guess that 80% of us would come out of it with SOME sort of diagnosis, and a new suspicious eye pointed toward our parents). It's because therapy changes you.

I walked into my first therapy session with goals, and they weren't at all personal. I was angry at the world for Jack's millions of screw-ups, and feeling defeated. I blamed, blamed, blamed. I was fine, I asserted, it was HIM who needed the therapy. I was simply there to have her help me corral him into a session.

He never did come to one, and that's okay, because it turns out I needed the therapy for me.

Therapy teaches you coping skills for the hard parts of life. And it teaches you how to STOP overreacting; and how to START processing your life in a functional way.

In later sessions, I cried a lot over my childhood and my struggles repairing the relationship between my dad and I as a result. I learned some coping skills to use while he was transitioning from ANGRY DRUNK DIVORCEE to Sober But Still A Little Crazy Man. I learned how to approach him, and I learned that I do have the strength to walk away from his bullcrap when it starts.

I learned that my first instinct about a person is usually correct, and I should treat it as such.

I learned how to assess my reactions and redirect the emotional one. Okay, so I kind of learned that, I'm still perfecting it.

The biggest lesson I learned in therapy, though, that's the one that #6 makes me think of. It's the reason I think we ALL need therapy.

The most important thing I ever learned, and a lesson we all need to learn, is that you are only in control of YOU. You cannot control the universe, nature, another person, or an entire situation. You can control how you react to a situation, but you cannot control the situation. You can control how you react to someone's reaction, but not how they react.

YOU are in charge of YOU.

You are allowed to think and feel whatever you please, because it is your brain, your body, your life, your feelings. Every feeling is justified. On the other side of the coin, everyone else's feelings and thoughts are justified. They're allowed to feel and think and do whatever, you can't stop that. You can't control it. You CAN control how you react, how you interpret, how you deal with it.

The hardest thing about this lesson is applying it to your life. It's really hard to stop melting down and remind yourself, "this person is allowed to be mad over this thing I think is completely stupid and not worth it."

As a piggyback of that lesson, the things you cannot control are NOT worth your energy worrying over. Worrying isn't going to alter their reaction, feelings, or thoughts. It's just not. Whats coming is coming, and all you can do is put your energy to use on things you CAN control.

Because therapy also teaches you that you are worth it. So stop, just stop, and breathe for a minute.

Now, what can you control today?