Shake! in QUOTIDIEN

Walked Into the bedroom once too often expecting to find him taking a nap, so in addition to clothing for the memorial, I went ahead and purchased an entire bed set. Now when I walk into the bedroom, I hear his memory asking me if I've lost my ever-loving mind.

'Tough! You left me here. My rules, now.' There's not much energy behind that thought....but it is there, nonetheless.

AM spent the night at her friend's house, figuring it would be easier to start her first school day back. She needs to be surrounded with her own kind (teenagers) to process the the first day of 'learning to live' in this new place.

We've had a couple of conversations about how not many middle-schoolers have had such a loss and that it is likely some will speak before thinking of the impact of their words. We've gone over several appropriate responses. And for the especially stupid, I trust they'll deserve what they get. My daughter has a way with words. We have a fall-back plan should she decide she's had enough. She takes some comfort in knowing that her daddy was part of the crew that built that school.

Beth, whom I'd taken to the veterinary clinic on Saturday because of sudden, frequent urination, and left her there until Tuesday morning - does NOT have a UTI. In fact, she's in glorious health. She started the new behavior early last week, along with clinging to us like we were life-rafts. It wasn't enough to be near, she wanted under our skin.

For two days, I considered re homing her, thinking I could live without the walking and the indoor peeing. Once the death-grip of terror and grief loosed my brain, I realized that we can't live without her.

Since she's been home, she's had one accident. Because I was distracted, I ignored her cues. The vet believes that Beth was 'predicting' - or had a sense of the illness that hid in the shadows.

'Since she's been home, the house has more movement and life, don't you think, mom?' - AM

Dear Organ Donation Lady,

Bless your heart for undertaking a job that has got to be mind-boggling painful. To hear the grief in every call you make must make for very long days and nights.

I've got to tell you, however, that A) 'irregardless' is NOT a word, B) you shouldn't tell someone your questions will only take 10 minutes [or so] when it actually takes 29:47 minutes, C) don't talk like the person at the other end of the line is holding a gun to their own head. And please, please listen to the wishes of your caller. When I said, 'no, he won't need prosthetics - he is being cremated'...three times throughout our conversation, what I meant to finally say was, 'NOW, you should be talking to me like I'm a crazy lady who has lost her mind!'

Signed- No damned prosthetics!