June 21st - "What's Your Real Job?" in 2021 entries

its been entertaining now that everyone seems to think the pandemic miraculously ended, as a bartender I’ve been getting asked the question again - What’s your real job though?

My real job involves cooking food for people too lazy to go home and buy a pound of hamburger and start up a grill. My real job makes sure you know that medium rare doesn’t mean no pink in the middle. When you ask for chicken wings and then realize you ordered wrong and yet somehow try to tell me I was wrong when I wrote down verbatim what you said to me, sure ill cook you chicken tenders but you’re still fucking wrong. How about when I have to pour your dumb ass a drink and you’re used to now pouring a full glass of whiskey at home to kill your Covid laced depression and now you actually taste the mixer and you get pissed that it isn’t strong enough for your pleasure? Sometimes I have to clean bathrooms that look like a child took off a shit filled diaper and twirled it around their head. My real job lets me keep my government insurance so I can continue to get the treatments I need when I get sick that I would otherwise need a $70k a year job for just to afford out of pocket insurance payments. Tell me your work sob story and leave me a dollar on your eighty dollar tab.

I hate people all the time.