Muh Brayn in These Foolish Things

  • June 11, 2021, 2:21 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

I’m writing another entry because I thought about something after I posted the last entry that I’ve been meaning to write about and I keep forgetting because…


You know, a LOT of shit has happened in the last three years that I believe have substantially changed the way my brain operates.

The first thing is that I had a brain injury in 2019 - it was a tear in my left carotid artery that blocked the oxygenated blood from making it to my brain. I remember weird things about that time between the injury and when I made it to the emergency room, such as the fact that it took SO MUCH ENERGY to find words that I was exhausted after about three sentences.

The second thing was that I was assaulted last June during the pandemic and the guy trying to steal my bag was HITTING MY HEAD on the left side where the brain injury was/is (there is a leftover aneurysm in there that I was afraid might blow). He hurt my head and blacked my eye, but thankfully nothing worse seemed to have happened in there…but who knows?

And the third thing is that I am now going through chemotherapy and that simply CAN NOT be good for the brain. They don’t call it “chemo brain” for nothing. I forget what I’m doing and saying mid-stream sometimes. I can’t understand some of the concepts that we discuss at work that everyone else seems to clearly get very easily.

I’m worried that I’m going to deteriorate further. I’m worried that I might not be understanding very simple things anymore.

I mean, I’m doing fine at work - getting assignments done and participating in high-level conversations, but I do feel like there are some things that I’m nodding along to that I’m not grasping. I’m not confused, but I just don’t GET some things.

What do you do when your brain starts to go wonky? Can anything be done? Anyone?


Complicated Disaster June 11, 2021 (edited June 11, 2021)


You're out there living your life and using your brain. There's not much more to be done! Maybe you're just getting old :-P <3 xx

Ginger Snap Complicated Disaster ⋅ June 11, 2021

Well, that's it too, but just seems accelerated. Also, I think I'm kind of stressing about it and that can't help. You're right, I'm living and doing the best that I can.

I honestly feel like every day that I wake up is kind of a miracle. :)

Complicated Disaster Ginger Snap ⋅ June 11, 2021

I started worrying about age related cognitive disfunction at about 25. I've stopped worrying now! xx

Soliloquy June 11, 2021

Tell your doctor! While nothing is going to completely undo any potential damage, there are drugs that can help. I’m pretty sure Abilify is one that gets prescribed to help with brain fog and the like, but they will know what could be most suitable for you or be able to run some tests to figure out exactly what’s going on.

Ginger Snap Soliloquy ⋅ June 11, 2021

Lucky for me I have THREE doctor appointments next week. I will do that for sure!

Athena June 11, 2021

Google what happens to the brain in menopause. A lot of women our age have brain issues around now.

Elaine Benes Athena ⋅ June 11, 2021

Could be any or all of the things you mention plus menopause! Seriously menopause alone really fucks your brain up. I spent the first 8 or 10 years I was in pharma studying menopause. It does a number on your whole body, including your brain.

Athena Elaine Benes ⋅ June 12, 2021

I didn’t know you studied it!!! I wish I could be a menopause researcher. I’ve read hundreds of hours on the topic in the last decade. Tell me what you studied and what you found out!

Elaine Benes Athena ⋅ June 12, 2021

Started out in contraception then moved to menopause. My company at the time was into hormone therapy so mostly what I studied was the effects of losing estrogen in menopause and the havoc it reeks on the various parts of your body (bones mainly but sooo much else) and if you could fix it by giving menopausal women back estrogen. At the time it was estrogen for everyone, forever! Now we know that’s not the best approach.

Athena Elaine Benes ⋅ June 12, 2021

I do really love estrogen though!!!

echopod June 11, 2021

I have a lot more blanks than I ever did previously. Menopause/peri brain for sure. I felt like this when I quit smoking too — I missed that nicotine! Asking your doctor will be good too, as it’s easy to dismiss things when it’s better to find out for sure if it’s damage or some of the regular things, but just saying you’re not alone. This age for women is HARD.

colder June 11, 2021

I would guess it’d be a neurology question… maybe some of that later on in your treatment plan?

Marg June 12, 2021

I’m glad you’re bringing it up with your doctor - better to get it checked out just for peace of mind. I agree with the others - menopause can change a lot.

Jinn June 13, 2021

I have noticed my mental clarity declined initially during menopause but seemed to improve after awhile. I was fortunate ; no unusual amount of headaches or hot flashes but I did seem forgetful at times and had / still have terrible insomnia. Sleep deprivation has to contribute to the forgetfulness. The big pluses of menopause were no more worries about birth control and no more periods. I was grateful. During this time I found out I was anemic so I started on a regime of vitamins and iron. I think they help too .

Jinn June 13, 2021

Isn’t there such a thing as chemo affecting concentration? There are so many factors that could be affecting you . Emotional and physical that you do amazing at what you do. Talk to your doctor . Hugs!

Ginger Snap Jinn ⋅ June 14, 2021

For sure! Chemo definitely affects concentration. Will def talk with docs this week! xo

pandora June 13, 2021

You have been through a LOT. Are you in therapy? Don't worry about answering that if it's private, but I feel like you are dealing with some major traumas on top of medical issues - perhaps a doc or psychiatrist could recommend some meds for the brain fog too?

Gangleri June 13, 2021

Talk to your doctor.

Ginger Snap Gangleri ⋅ June 14, 2021

will do!!!

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