I’m writing another entry because I thought about something after I posted the last entry that I’ve been meaning to write about and I keep forgetting because…
MY BRAIN DOESN’T WORK RIGHT ANYMORE.
You know, a LOT of shit has happened in the last three years that I believe have substantially changed the way my brain operates.
The first thing is that I had a brain injury in 2019 - it was a tear in my left carotid artery that blocked the oxygenated blood from making it to my brain. I remember weird things about that time between the injury and when I made it to the emergency room, such as the fact that it took SO MUCH ENERGY to find words that I was exhausted after about three sentences.
The second thing was that I was assaulted last June during the pandemic and the guy trying to steal my bag was HITTING MY HEAD on the left side where the brain injury was/is (there is a leftover aneurysm in there that I was afraid might blow). He hurt my head and blacked my eye, but thankfully nothing worse seemed to have happened in there…but who knows?
And the third thing is that I am now going through chemotherapy and that simply CAN NOT be good for the brain. They don’t call it “chemo brain” for nothing. I forget what I’m doing and saying mid-stream sometimes. I can’t understand some of the concepts that we discuss at work that everyone else seems to clearly get very easily.
I’m worried that I’m going to deteriorate further. I’m worried that I might not be understanding very simple things anymore.
I mean, I’m doing fine at work - getting assignments done and participating in high-level conversations, but I do feel like there are some things that I’m nodding along to that I’m not grasping. I’m not confused, but I just don’t GET some things.
What do you do when your brain starts to go wonky? Can anything be done? Anyone?