June 7th - Note #3 in 2021 entries

Been a long couple of days but I’m trying to be better posting, so here’s a note I wrote in 2018 while I was sitting in my happy place.

Definitely not a happy note.

You never knew what you had until it disappeared
When you got it again you discovered
What’s lost is better not found
Life comes at you funny sometimes
Unless you aren’t amused by anything

I’d love to say goodbye to the people that care about me but I just don’t care much
Time is only wasted when you’re wasted all the time and lately I cant stop long enough
To remember what day it is let alone what kind of time I’m sitting in

Some days it’s too hard, some days it’s too much
Most days I don’t understand why
And yet I drag myself to my feet for another day
Why do I choose another day anyway

Don’t hate me for taking the easy way out - nothing was easy about it. Hate me for not attempting to try the hard things or the good things over again. Hate me for everything hypocritical. I don’t love my life, I don’t love myself. There’s times when I hate everyone for trying to be so motivating. There’s times where I don’t want to give up because I want to prove those that root so hard against me wrong.

I care too much about what people think of me and care too little about making myself happy.