weird in A Day in the Life of Me

It’s a weird feeling for me for some reason. Thinking that he’s gone.
I know the whole family is heartbroken, even though it wasn’t out of the blue. It’s never easy. And he was a great man. Loving father, husband, and all. I only ever got the one physical meet with his folks, but his Dad was just so warm and welcoming. The whole family that I got to meet was. Sadly wasn’t as many as we would have liked, but it is what it is.
Hopefully now, once the pain eases, Mum can look after herself a bit more now. She’s been Pops full time care giver for so long. Her health isn’t the greatest. Maybe she can eventually get back to her homeland in England to see some of her family there. Or maybe even here.

It was an up and down day yesterday for D, I posted a pic, after we got home from a long walk, of him on the couch, having a small breakdown, and both the kittens just immediately went over and curled up on him.
So many msgs left on both our fb posts from friends and family. Was nice to see.
Sad how death makes everyone all of a sudden want to reach out, but with in the next few days, their all gone again.
Same thing happened for us my when mine passed.

My mom text to say, she didn’t have words for him, but to let him know she was there and thinking of him in this time. She said she didn’t want to say the cliché, “He’s in a better place” because when anyone ever said it to her about Dad she wanted to throat punch them.
I can easily see her doing it too.

He’s at work today. I know it will help with keeping his mind off it.
Just hope he’s feeling better.
He dove into the guilt part of the grief process within minutes of hanging up from his Mum the other night when she called with the heartbreaking news.
I know it will hit hard again when the funeral is going on, and I hope there is someone there that will be able to live stream to him.
That’s my guilt.
That I can’t get him there for his goodbye.
Even without Covid. No matter what I tried the past couple years, just could NOT get money set aside for a trip.
Gods know when we will be able to even go now.
Would take a miracle.
Flights will be stupid expensive even more so now no doubt, and then there is our passports that need replacing and all knows what else.
/sigh.
Worst parts of living half way across the world.
Hell I can’t even get to see my own mother and she’s only 3ish hours away..
We did have a lovely long fb catch up with his cousin who I think is in the Cornwall area.
She’s a hoot, and one I hope someday to be able to meet in person.
She desperately wants to come here as well. Offered to put her up, but as it is, she has 2 young kids, and is allergic to cats lol.

Last updated May 06, 2021