Another One... in Deeper Bits (Emotional and such)

I keep seeing the same girl all over the place for the past couple of weeks. In my neighborhood out in the burbs, in Seattle, out on the east side, out in farm land, it’s getting kinda creepy. I know it’s not “the same girl”. It can’t be. That’s just not realistic. But at the same time, there cannot be that many 5‘7 120lb fair skinned natural strawberry blondes around here. Especially around here. And yes, I can tell the difference between natural and bottle blondes. I’ve dated both. And yes, I have gotten that good of a look, which in itself is odd. And no, it’s not The Ginger slightly modified. I know her face all too well. It’s not her.

I’m well aware this could just by my mind screwing with me again. It’s not that uncommon anymore. I’ve been alone far too long. It just seems odd that my mind would pick this girl. I mean, okay, The Ginger is pretty much my ideal, but this girl is a VERY strong second place. What gets even weirder to me, is the fact that I’ve seen her more in 2 weeks than I’ve seen The Ginger in the waking world in.... god… how many years have I been seeing and dreaming of her? And, I have yet to have any dreams of her. So… what? Am I going to have my mind screwing with me on 2 fronts now, The Ginger in my dreams and… hell… what to call this one…Blondie? No. Berry? No. I’ll need to think of something, I guess. Hard to be clever when strawberry blondes don’t have a short descriptor like red heads do. At least not that I know of, anyway.

This week has just sucked. I’ve not been in a good place mentally, but been way too good at faking it, as usual. Today I kinda bottomed out. I was adjusting spring tension on an old door, and my damned wrench slipped off the adjuster, out of my hand, and as I tried to grab it, I slapped the end of it, giving it a 3 axis spin, which made it hit the door, and rebound, business end first, at my eye. I’ve got the beginnings to a shiner now. That more or less just compounded all the other crap rattling around in my head, and by the time I got home, I had to sit in the truck for a few minutes and regain my composure. I only pulled together enough to get into the house. With wet eyes. I just sat in the shower for 30 minutes or so. Life is just so fun, stabbing me in the heart and sucker punching me frequently. There’s intense sarcasm in that last sentence.

Something’s gotta give.