#TMIFiles: The Socials in These Foolish Things

Glorious Off-Week Wednesday!

I have a whole week until my next chemo infusion and I couldn’t be more happy. It’s the in-between weeks that give me life and then during the infusion week I know that the in-between week is coming and that gives me life. So many little things giving me life!

I’ve been doing a lot of connecting with fellow colon cancer patients on social media because it somehow helps. I think it’s that I’m finding people who can relate to this very specific issue. I suppose I’m just looking for…well, I’m not quite sure…a sense of normalcy in what feels something like uncontrollable disorder in my life?

I’ve found several people who are a couple of steps ahead of me in their treatment, and I find myself watching their posts to see how they are faring and what they are doing that brings them joy. Or comfort. Or other things.

Today, a woman I follow had a rare moment of “why me” during her workout (she’s doing this incredible fitness program while she goes through her chemo treatment - WOW!), and she cried right in the middle of lifting weights and then posted it, and it made me just tear up in solidarity with her.

Yesterday, I messaged a guy who is battling stage iv and had gone in for CT scans after 6 rounds of chemo. His scans show that his metastasized tumors are shrinking and some have gone away - that means that his chemo is working! And he was heading into his 7th treatment and got emotional and posted it and it moved me to the point of crying tears of joy for him.

Anyway, he’s doing the same icing treatment that I described in this entry (about halfway down), and has done it for seven treatments now and I had some questions for him. He was soooooo incredibly generous with his information. He took time to send me videos in my DMs to explain what he was talking about rather than trying to type it all out on his phone.

Amazing.

And yet. I find myself sort of cringing sometimes when I go on FB because I’ve also signed up for special private groups to get information on how to deal with chemo side effects and techniques to try, etc. and find so many people are suffering and confused and in pain. I am thinking of somehow muting some of that noise so that I only see the helpful information. Reading about suffering does not help. Reading about suffering makes me suffer.

It’s interesting the difference in socials when researching cancer.

• Facebook has typically older, typically frantic-leaning or worried or confused seekers of information and a LOT of people spouting off almost too much information.

• Instagram has people my age and younger going through treatment and posting real, sometimes very raw, mostly extremely helpful and uplifting (sometimes even funny) information.

• TikTok has a younger generation going through treatments, and though I don’t really participate in Tik Tok that much, there’s some good info there, like informative videos on what to pack in the bag that you take to infusions and how to deal with chemo hair.

I know I spend too much time on the socials, but I swear they’ve given me such helpful tips and tricks and much better understanding of what’s happening with me. It’s also a good outlet (like this is), for me to post my own story and my own information so I can let my friends and family know what’s going on.

OK. Gotta get going. Prepping for meetings and need to get a walk in at lunchtime and thinking about ordering lunch at the Lebanese restaurant down the road…yum.

Love yous!
GS