Equilibrium in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

  • April 8, 2021, 9:45 p.m.
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  • Public

I know it’s been a while but that’s mainly because I’ve spent the last month going through the trial period for the medication meant to treat my disorder. Let me tell you how different I feel. It’s like my brain has been turned back on, and that’s made some significant changes that I’ll get into over time.

For the first example, I’ll tell you about an incident that happened today. I was starving because I hadn’t eaten anything since I had my breakfast. Now I routinely have breakfast, something that I always enjoyed but it wasn’t really a quotidian occurrence for me until my new medication, which requires I take 17 pills daily while eating a meal. So that’s fun.

I was craving a salad, so I was going to head to my mother’s to see if anyone else wanted something. Since I don’t have a car any longer, I usually offer to grab food for someone else in exchange for using a vehicle. Usually, there are no problems. That was not the case today.

My stepfather happened to be home, and when I went to grab the keys to my little brother’s car, he asked me what I was looking for. When I told him Chuckie’s keys, he said, “Who said you could take Chuckie’s car?” When I told him Chuckie, he simply replied, “No. That car is in my name, that is my car. You can’t just ask other people for permission to property that isn’t theirs!” Then he stormed off to yell at Chuckie (“We made an agreement when we bought that car together that none else but you can drive it!”)

Now, I’m sure at this point some of you are thinking what an asshole or did you tell him off? and the answer is no, I did not. I have dealt with this man and his gigantic ego since I was 12. He gets off on telling people what to do, I just felt bad that it resulted in Chuckie getting yelled at because he was trying to help me.

Now, if this had happened two or more months ago, I would have been extremely stressed and probably had a panic attack. Not this time. In fact, I left and walked down to the deli and got a shittier salad, but still fulfilled my craving.

Apparently, after I left, he kept going on and on, and even got into an argument with my other little brother Cameron, who is really the only one who can check my stepfather’s ego. I felt bad that I brought on the chaos, but it’s not really causing any ripples in my life like it used to.

So this is an example that I’ve gained a lot more mental stability than I used to have. There are other examples coming that will show the same thing, and it will help you explain why I haven’t left for Thailand yet.

But I can just shrug off assholes now, even if they married my mother.

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