Sexuality in Repose in Random

  • March 17, 2021, 6:18 p.m.
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What’s the longest time you’ve ever gone without any kind of sexual intimacy? Are you a sitcom character where going even a few weeks without leaves you fit to explode? The longest period of time I had gone (and mind you it only counts after your first sexual episode, not the time before it) was 7 years. If I was a character on How I Met Your Mother, all the main characters would have dropped dead from hearing that. The thing is: I didn’t really care. I wasn’t jonesing for it at all. I missed the feeling of being with someone, missed cuddles and kisses, but sex just wasn’t important. But it was once…wasn’t it? That’s the question that has hounded me for years now. My first sexual experience was at 13 years old, the summer before my freshman year of high school. It was a one time thing and I didn’t have any more until the summer before my senior year. Though, after that, I had a pretty consistent sex life until the stretch between 2008 and 2015. I have pretty crappy memory; I can conjure up images of the people I knew, the things I did, the places I went but I rarely can remember how I felt about those moments.

One thing I do remember was my that my high school/college life was one of confusion. I never sought out relationships, they just tended to happen to me. When I was in a relationship I almost never made the first move for a kiss and I never initiated sexual contact. I wondered at times if I might have been gay (I was in theatre after all) or if I just had some unknown kink or what have you. It wasn’t until I had been a couple years into that 7 year spell it had been suggested that I might be asexual. It made sense, I never think about sex unless it’s being explicitly talked about. When I see someone I think it good-looking, I don’t think about having sex with them…it’s more like looking at art. I can appreciate beauty without needed to stick myself in it. It’s been an odd journey and one I’m sure I’ll always be on. Anybody else have similar experiences?

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