I can't sleep.... in General musings

It is after 1:30 am and I am WIDE awake...just obsessing in my mind about the past 3 months..and even more on the past 16 or so YEARS....Looked up an old Ann Landers column about love vs. infatuation that I want to send to him..not for "us" but in the hopes that he will someday realize what he is looking for in a love relationship is a teenager's dream of love..

"I am printing a frequently requested essay that offers sane guidelines and raises some serious questions for the crazy-in-love starry-eyed among you who are certain that your beloved hung the moon and nobody, but nobody, has ever been so much in love before. Love or Infatuation

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows - one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him nearer. But near or far, you know he is yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must have each other right away. I don't want to risk losing him."

Love says, "Be patient, don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy. Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating. Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels that trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you could regret later, but love never will.

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty spaces in your heart. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before."