Going Down That Rabbit Hole - Weight Loss in 2020 Vision

Potential eating disorder trigger entry

Guys it has been nearly a month of working from home (completely) alone, and its wearing on me. But as I was doing my taxes the other day it really dawned on me just how much I’m being overpaid for my (lack of) efforts right now and should probably just keep sleeping and collecting my paycheck.

I sleep on the clock nearly every day. When the weather is nice, I go skating and/or take the dog on long walks to get out of my apartment. With skating, I get to talk to other people at the skatepark and fill my need for social interaction.

But on bad weather days (which had been the case for the past 1.5 weeks), its been a massive amount of sleep. We got a bunch of snow that left me trapped in the apartment for 3 days because they don’t plow at the apartment complex I live in, and anyone with 2 wheel drive (me) couldn’t get out safely. Then we got a lot of rain for a few days. The week before the bad weather, someone busted out the back window of my car (and my neighbor’s car!), so I couldn’t drive that for 6 days before safelite was able to come out and replace it. My poor neighbor had to wait a few days longer.

But basically, for 1.5 weeks I didn’t leave my apartment complex, and did a massive amount of sleeping.

I’m on Effexor now. Prozac wasn’t cutting it. Effexor is better because I’m losing unnecessary weight on it. It’s actually not 100% the Effexor’s faults. I’m being dramatic. I’ve solidy (and with some intentionality) changed my eating habits because I’m bored with life and need a new challenge. So why not try to recreate the eating disorder that inhabited my body as a teenager. I’d been going to the dr every couple of months for prozac follow ups and now every couple of months for an effexor follow up. I haven’t been weighing myself at home, but have used the dr appts to guide me.

I’m finally under a bmi of 18.5. At 5‘10”, I’m officially down to 128.4 pounds and a bmi of 18.4 I haven’t been this low since I was 18 and trying to gain weight before leaving for the Navy.

My dr hasnt noticed the downward trend tho in my medical records, so I shall continue until its more noticeable.

Its easy not to eat when sleeping all day. As the nice weather comes back, I’m sure some of the weight will too. But that will be fine then. But not now.

I have started seeing a therapist at the clinic since getting the referral from my dr in November. With all of this covid craziness, I’ve only been able to see her ONCE!. After getting the referral in November, her first available appointment was Jan 6th. It was about a 6 week wait for that appointment. Well about an hour before the appointment, as I was getting ready to leave, the clinic called me to let me know she wasn’t in that day, and that I would have to reschedule. My appointment was at noon. They called me around 11. They couldn’t have called me earlier in the day to cancel?! Was literally in the process of grabbing my keys when they called. Anywho, so the soonest available appointment after THAT was February 2nd. Another 4 week wait basically. So I grabbed that appointment, and that appointment did happen. My next appointment is next week, so only a 3 week wait this time. She said she/the clinic ideally likes to schedule patient therapy appointments on a biweekly basis but with everything going on right now, that hasn’t been happening.

Its not an ideal set up. An ideal setup would be weekly or biweekly, but in this day and age I just have to take what I can get. Its so crazy that I got the referral in Nov and I’ve only seen her once.
Anywho

Have to save this in the 2020 book because I haven’t been online to create a 2021 book yet.