Last evening, about an hour after I wrote my last entry, I decided to take The Bull(dog) by the horns and ask him to join me for a drink! I told him that he could come or not, but I was going to go regardless, so it was up to him. I was sure he’d say no, but surprise, surprise…he showed! In fact, he selected the place because he was hungry.
I was slightly rattled and nervous to meet him. Got there before he did and sat outside on the patio waiting. I was chatting with the waiter when he came up behind me and gave me a kind of a hug from behind…and when I saw him face-to-face, I was utterly, thoroughly, absolutely smitten. Gushing. Blushing. Chemical reaction. I know it sounds so stupid, but the earth stopped rotating just for a bit. I can’t even tell you what happened there. I knew what he looked like from his pictures on Tinder and the Facebook stalking that I’d done. But I wasn’t prepared for him to look even better than his photos. That’s a rare and beautiful thing.
He is exactly, EXACTLY my type. And that makes me nervous, because you know what happens with me and “my type”. He is a sexy, sexy specimen and there is potential for trouble. Every time I looked at him I felt butterflies rising up from the pit of my stomach to my throat and back down again. I am a goner. I am freaking a bit. I am truly smitten.
I know I am all over the place, but I think that’s just how it’s going to be right now. I’ve decided not to fight it, but I don’t want to force it either. I don’t want a heartbreak on top of a heartache. That’s just stupid. But I enjoy this feeling, and I’m treating myself just fine, I think.
Even though the sparks flew on my end, I’ve no idea what they were doing for him – or even if he was feeling anything. I think he did, but I can’t be too sure. We talked and talked and drank and talked and smoked a cig or two. And then we talked some more. He has more stories than I do, and I loved listening and I loved talking and I loved the couple of times he touched my arm and stuff. Me? I was too chicken to touch him. And in the end, we didn’t kiss or even hug goodbye, and I’m slightly dumbfounded by that, but I was also slightly drunk.
I’m all swoony and weird today. Can’t concentrate. We’ve texted a couple of times, but not too much. I want to see him again. And soon.
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