I think the Drama is over!!!! in Days of My Destiny

Yesterday's committee meeting went well. I had lost sleep over it because I was worrying so much about HOW to say all the things I needed to say without singling people out or hurting people's feelings. Seriously. I even got frustrated with myself for caring too much and losing sleep because of it!!! I was also frustrated with myself because I'd been praying and putting it in God's hands - but then continuing to worry about it, meaning that I didn't REALLY want to put it in God's hands, did I? And I didn't like that truth. Anyway.... by yesterday morning I wasn't nervous at all and trusted that it would all work out.

Thankfully everyone was in good spirits and I could sense a willingness to move forward after all the drama. I'd also noticed a change in the way emails have been written lately by the Treasurer. I had mentioned in a roundabout way to her in a phone call that everybody is different and that there is beauty in difference. I told her that everybody interprets messages differently and can take things in different ways and therefore there is a need for a bit of diplomacy. She had said that she knows she is NOT diplomatic at all. She said she can be diplomatic the first time but that if she has to ask the same thing 3 or 4 times then she just says it how it is. (Oh dear!) Obviously it's this very thing that has led to the Director's resignation. In the end, the Director came into her position with a lot of enthusiasm and willingness to learn but hugely under skilled and she didn't feel that she could approach the old executives to admit that she was struggling. (I wonder why...!) I did say this at yesterday's meeting. I said that we're not always going to work with people that we like or get along with and that there is always going to be a possibility that we end up working with someone who is difficult to work with. I said that we need to have a strategy for this and that we need some behavioural norms. They said there is a Code of Conduct in place, which I know is true but not sufficient for what's been going on, so I said that we need to set some norms with the finer details, such as not interrupting when somebody else is speaking in a meeting, or not insulting anybody, whether to their face or to somebody else. I said that sure, if two committee members are actually friends outside of the committee and are talking about a third person over a private BBQ, then that's fine, but when we are working, we need to maintain a high level of professionalism and respect. (This was because the Treasurer had said to me about the old Director, "Is it okay to say she's DUMB? Because I honestly think so." INAPPROPRIATE, lady!!!!!) Somebody also said that we need to CREATE a work culture where it's OKAY to make mistakes and okay to not always have a handle on things. I stated that this is EXACTLY where I was coming from in my introductory email where I said that I am willing to listen to concerns, because we are HUMAN. I said that before we are mothers, before we are President, before we are wives, before we are workers - we are HUMAN. And we need to nurture this side too. Anyway so we brainstormed and it was really a productive meeting in every way.

The Director was in the middle of some really important projects when she resigned and so we went over those and worked together to find who could take over these projects. For example one is for the Easter Show which is in exactly one week. All we knew was that the Director said this was under control - and because it was her responsibility, the committee has no idea which staff will be manning the stall etc. So we've had to follow that up. Things like that. After the meeting, I had to ask the Treasurer a few questions and after that we had a long chat about our backgrounds and a little bit about our life stories. This was EXCELLENT, I'm so glad we had a chance to get to know a bit about each other, because it explained a lot about why she is the way she is. Turns out, I'm artistic and creative, she's logical and factual. In her professional background, if you don't do your job, you just get fired - there's no discussion, no second chances. And so she admitted that she sometimes does have to ask feedback from other executives about situations and double check that her thinking is right or not. !! So yeah... it was good to know that about her. Turns out in her full-time job, she works with some Brazilian people and she also knows some Peruvians who live in the next town!!! She said she'd have to introduce us all and then she might understand "the whole rice thing." I CRACKED up laughing and said I love rice, lololol!! I told her how when I first met L, he'd cook for me and on my plate I would see that there was a bit of meat, a salad - and that was it! And I'd be sitting there thinking... where's the rice, where's the mash, where are the beans?!?!? Lol and that in my eyes the dish was incomplete, hahaha. She was laughing at this. It was just great to FINALLY have a chance to built some rapport rather than simply focus on business at hand, which is what she tends to do in work mode. And that's okay, but her nature makes it all a bit full-on, lol. I came home encouraged and hopeful about the future of this organization. We also discussed some areas that we should really outsource rather than keep drowning in, so that's DEFINITELY a positive.

The thing is, I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to explain EVERYTHING that's been going on. It's not just the bitchiness in emails. The whole organization is in such a mess. It started 30 years ago quite casually and it was a fun little project that a small group of mothers had. But in 30 years, it has evolved into a million dollar business, and the admin lady who has been there from the beginning, doesn't understand this, nor does she want to take some courses to up-skill! So that right there is a tricky situation, because we DO care and we don't want to put her in a situation where she's just forced into retirement, you know. A lot of corporate business do exactly this, but it's not what we are about. But it seems that it really is getting to a point where we will have to go, look, Option A is that you up-skill or complete different tasks in your job and let somebody else do the things you currently do ineffectively, or Option B is that we offer you a voluntary redundancy. She IS retirement age after all. Still, it's tricky. This is a small town we're talking about, where you're not just NEVER going to see that person again. In fact, since the Director's resignation, about 4 of us executives alone have spotted her in town!

The other thing is that the finances are in a mess. We recently had a financial health check and turns out that when we do the books right, we actually break even, which is good, but behind the scenes there's a lot of messy situations. One of them is that one of our services has been running at a loss for the last 8 years and nobody has done anything about it. They've said many times "If this service makes more than X amount of a loss, then we need to close it down." But then the service makes more than X in losses and they change their mind because they decide to give it ONE last shot. In a way I understand this because some of the committee members USE that very service, so it would be tricky. But from the outside, or coming into it with fresh eyes, I can see that we are wasting our time and energy on this service! And at the end of the day, we ARE running a business and we need to draw the line somewhere.... the Treasurer completely agreed with me on this but at the end of the day, the entire committee needs to make decisions, not just one or two members!

And then the third main thing really was the whole Personal Conflict dramas that kept on happening between the Director and the Treasurer. Well now the Director's gone and we are thinking of restructuring the way we do things (such as outsourcing financial management and the business plans) and so that should really take care of that side of things. I did write in an email the other day that I am NOT taking sides in the dramas that have unfolded and that I am simply remaining objective as President. This came about because after my phonecall with the Treasurer the other day, she rang the former President and told her that she was worried because I like the Director - therefore hinting that I don't like the Treasurer - and anyway later that afternoon I rang the former President about something and she mentioned that to me..... ahhh!!!! So I had to just put that out there, lol. The comment I'd made to the Treasurer was that I COULD work with the former Director if she decided to come back (because her resignation was the result of an emotional angry outburst - which means she could therefore say that it was really an unfair dismissal because she felt she was FORCED to resign due to the way she'd been treated - this is legal). Whereas the Treasurer is very determined not to ever work with her again - I mean after all, the Director did completely bag her out in her resignation letter, so I understand that too. And she swore and called her all sorts of horibble, horrible names in the office the day of the last straw. So then in my email I said I'm NOT taking sides, I simply said I could work with her because I could work with just about anybody cos it's in my nature! And that the Director COULD have the skills required if she completed the course she was taking. But ANYWAY.............................................

At the end of the day, the fact that these PERSONAL CONFLICTS have taken over all the other dysfunctionalities (I don't think that's even a word lol) of the organization proves that there WAS a personal conflict, which the Treasurer tried for so long to say did not exist, lolololololol. Ahhh dear.

I asked the Treasurer yesterday if the conflicts have also been due to the former executives being burned out after having to DO the Director's role as well as their own last year for 6 months when there WAS no Director. She said it COULD be a little bit of that, but more than that it was frustration they were facing with the new Director who did not follow up on requests or communicate properly. And that's fair enough too.

It just feels like it really is behind us now.......... thank God.

I literally WAS thanking God on the way home too, for just putting everyone in the right mind frame for the meeting.... I think I'd worried so much that the Treasurer would sit there all bitter and defend herself fiercely without being able to see where she too was going wrong. But that was not the case!!!!! Hooray!!!!!

Oh yeah, when we were on the phone the other day, she was giving me her ideas for how we could restructure and when she said that the Admin Assistant (not the old lady, the other lady who assists the old lady lol) could move up to Role X, she mentioned that really she wishes she could say we need to fire her because she thinks she's useless and doesn't like her. (Yes, I know lol) I told her I wanted to commend her on always keeping the organization's interests above her own and that this very comment was an example of her doing that. She was stunned. There was silence on the other end of the line for ages - and it made me wander if she's ever experienced ANY kind of healthy work environment :-/ It made me feel for her a little bit. And I get the feeling that in the end, her and I working together will be a good experience for the both of us.